Everyone wants a supportive partner during labor. Delivering a baby is equal parts thrilling and terrifying,so it is totally natural to want to share that experience with someone who can help keep the mother focused and balanced through out the whole process. But sometimes the incredible act of welcoming a new person to the world causes people to speak or act without thinking things all the way through. And although one almost can't blame them (it is a mind-blowing experience) sometimes the way they react can be baffling. When I was in hour two of working to push out my son, my husband could finally see the baby's head starting to crown. He caught a glimpse of the baby's hair and looked at me in awe and said, "You should really be seeing this!"
Um, sure, honey. I'd love to take a break from pushing out this baby and come over there to see what it looks like when I PUSH OUT THIS BABY.
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At that moment, I'd been in labor for 14 hours and was tired, in pain, and desperate to be done. It might have been irrational, but I wasn't really feeling charitable toward my husband at that exact moment. I don't exactly remember how I responded to his comment, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't, "You're right, honey; I bet this is an amazing thing to watch."
Having a baby is hard, exhausting work, so I think we can all related to these women who shared their stories of the moments they wanted to banish their husbands from the delivery rooms for getting on their very last nerve.
Understatement of the Year
"I was in labor with our second child and was trying to avoid the epidural. I was getting to active labor and was really feeling it. I was trying to breathe and focus when my husband said, 'I gotta say, this looks really uncomfortable.'
'Ya think? What an idiot." — Sara W., Tulsa, Oklahoma
Maybe Not the Most Flattering Thing to Say?
"After hours and hours of labor, our son was born. I thought he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. My husband looked at him and said, 'Huh, he's greasier looking than I expected.'
"WHO SAYS THAT? I married the guy who says that." — Emily J., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Basically Everything
"My husband didn't really do anything wrong, exactly. But I wanted to kill him multiple times because he was just annoying me. He was standing too close, his breath smelled like tacos, and he wasn't giving me my ice chips fast enough. All completely annoying at the time." — Grace C., San Jose, California
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Gas Attack
"My husband would not stop farting while I was in labor! He had Chipotle for lunch and it was not sitting right in his stomach. It was gag-worthy. Even the nurses were grossed out. It made it very hard to breathe in during contractions." — Joni K., Tucson, Arizona
'No Offense'
"My husband was holding my leg while I was pushing and said, 'No offense, hon, but your feet really stink right now. Can I take your socks off?'
"He's lucky I didn't kick him in the head." — Jules W., Baltimore, Maryland
March Madness
"I was at home, in the early stages of labor, and was doing the whole timing contractions thing on this app. Eventually my contractions got close enough together that I called my OB and she said it was probably time to come in. I was excited and nervous and so ready to get done being pregnant.
"I told my husband, and he asked if we could wait for like 15 minutes so he could finish watching his basketball game. I was kind of annoyed, but said yes. Thirty minutes later I was really starting to feel uncomfortable and was like, 'We need to GO,' and he was like, 'But the game just went into overtime…'
"My advice: Don't have a baby during March Madness." — Rebecca M., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
He Had ONE Job...
"I asked my husband to put a cool washcloth on my forehead. He put one on but it was sopping wet, so water was running down my face. This made me furious and I called him an incompetent assh*le.
"I may be the jerk in this situation. But I wanted to strangle him." — Name withheld by request
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Snack Break?
"I'd been in labor for nearly 24 hours with no food and was exhausted and hungry. His mom came to check on us and brought him a hamburger and fries. And he ate them in front of me!
"No jury in the world would have convicted me if I'd have murdered him on the spot." — Chelsea M., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Need a Minute
"My husband almost passed out when I was pushing, so everything stopped for a minute while the nurses helped him catch his breath. He said, 'I just need a minute. And a juice box.'
"And I was like, 'Um, hello? Focus on me, please!'" — Ricki E., Des Moines, Iowa
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Mr. Helpful
"My husband was Mr. Helpful during labor. He was full of suggestions: let's take a walk, let me massage you, let's visualize your cervix opening, blah, blah, blah. I just wanted to be left alone. I was trying to focus inwardly and he was acting like he was running the show. He was just trying to help, but I needed him to back off and just let me do my thing without the constant chatter. I was deeply annoyed." — Jill D., Houston, Texas
Not the Time
"After a lot of research and back and forth, I decided I really wanted a home birth with a midwife and doula. When the big day came, we had the birthing pool filled and the midwife on the way, and he got cold feet and started asking if I was really sure about all this. He even asked if I really felt like it was safe. I understand he was nervous, but dude! Not the time for second-guessing the birth plan." — Ella D., Iowa City, Iowa
HE DID NOT.
"During labor, my husband made an off-hand comment that our new nurse was pretty cute. Just what I want to hear while giving birth to our first child." — Maggie N., Saint Paul, Minnesota
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