Despite the fact that kids' birthday parties are intended to be fun, they can also bring some drama. Especially when it comes to gifts, there's pressure on parents as far as what to get, how much to spend, if they should even bring anything, and when it's appropriate to allow kids to open them. But one mom has started a new debate after being shocked over what another parent allowed their kiddo to gift the birthday boy without asking her first: a toy gun.
This frustrated mom thinks it's inappropriate for someone to gift her kid a toy gun without her permission.
The anonymous mom shared on Mumsnet that after her son's seventh birthday party, he ended up with three toy guns from school friends — despite the fact that she doesn't allow this type of toy in her home. "Now I know it's up to people what they give and that as the recipient's parent I don't get a say, and I should be grateful that these [dear children] came to his party and brought him a gift (and I am), but I would never give a gun as a gift," she wrote. "I think it's really inappropriate and I'm very uncomfortable with having even toy guns in my house."
She resents being put in the position of having to be a "bad guy" and confiscate his presents.
The toys in question aren't replica machine guns — they are two Nerf guns and a "pump action 'soaker' water pistol" but that doesn't mean she wants her kid playing with them. "Do we have swords? Yes — but I didn't buy those either and no I don't like them, because they whack each other with them and it hurts," she commented. "I know kids have been playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians for forever, but I'm just not a fan of other people buying my kids guns … Buying them for your own kids is one thing, but giving them as gifts? That's what I have a problem with."
Some people are completely on her side and are surprised that another parent would cross that line.
"I wouldn’t buy them for someone else’s child unless I knew categorically their parent allowed them," one user wrote.
"I actually agree with that. I don't think anything that could be seen as "controversial" should be gifted," another person commented.
Because they understand that guns are never "just toys" to some parents.
"I don’t allow guns and the kids know that if they are given any I would swap them out for a gift of equal value," another parent wrote. "I have no problem being 'the bad guy.'"
Others have even been put in this same uncomfortable situation.
"My son was given a nerf gun as a gift two days after I had told him he wasn't allowed them," another user wrote. "I was surprised that someone would give one as a gift TBH. It s partly the gun aspect but mostly they are a pain in the ass. We ended up with foam bullets firing everywhere, hitting the telly, firing past faces. It 'got lost' two days later."
But some people think it depends on the "type" of toy.
"I'd buy a Nerf gun or a water pistol. I wouldn't buy a replica gun for another child although my own have them," another parent added.
"Water guns, yes no problem. But toy guns that make shooting noises no," one parent wrote.
On the other side, there are some parents who don't see the problem at all.
"I have given Nerf guns to loads of kids. They are not in the least bit like a real gun," one parent wrote.
"Unless you specify that people shouldn’t buy certain gifts, I’m afraid YABU," another user commented. "Toy guns are very appreciated by some kids."
And feel that she just needs to relax.
"It’s people like you making the younger generations so ridiculous and unable to cope with life," one parent wrote.
"Not every child is a gun-welding killer because of their play," another added.
But others are glad that she spoke up because they never thought about it from her perspective.
"It’s such a divisive issue, I think most people would swerve giving a gun as a present — I suppose in the way most people would swerve giving makeup as a child’s present," one parent wrote.
However, many parents admit that it never occurred to them that water and Nerf guns might not be allowed in some houses. They've since realized that they need to be more aware and take other parents' perspective into account before shopping for the next birthday party!
