My husband recently went out with friends. He doesn’t go out very often so I went to bed assuming he would just sneak in at about 11 p.m. ish (when he told me he would be home) and come to bed. I woke up at 2:30 a.m. and he was not next to us in bed. I checked the spare room. No sign.
The front door had not been locked (which he always does) and he was not asleep on the sofa. I panicked.
I called him and called him. No answer. I text and text and text. No response. By 3:30 a.m. I started to text his friends. They all told me that they hadn’t seen him for several hours and thought he had gone home. My mind went crazy. I called my mom at 4:30 a.m. in tears and we planned to go out on a search party if he hadn’t made it home by the time the children woke up.
So I stayed up, crying my eyes out. Wondering where he was.
Was he dead in a ditch? Or was he with another woman? As my mind went crazy I tried to rationalize what was happening but I just couldn’t. This was so out of character for him. My anxiety continued to build until my children woke up so I tried to pull myself together for their sakes. We came downstairs and our dog immediately went and sat outside my husband's office, where his door was firmly shut. The door is always open when he is in there but he closes it when he is not, so I had just assumed he was not in there. Just out of curiosity I decided to open the door, and thank goodness I did. Because lo and behold, who did I find fast asleep behind his desk? My husband. He had come back home and worked late and just fallen asleep.
But this got me thinking.
I was so distraught. I had no idea where he was. I couldn’t get hold of him by any means of communication (even though he was only in the next room ). When a baby cries that is their only means of communication. When they cry at night for you, it is because they are afraid and they do not know how else to communicate. They do not know where you are, and all they want is to be with you.
Me crying that night was not to manipulate my husband, it was for no other reason than panic and worry as to where he was.
And I am a grown woman. Does this make it any different to that of a baby who is in panic because they want their mommy or daddy? Answering their cries is not spoiling them. It’s not them manipulating you. It is not creating bad habits. It is you letting them know that you are there for them.
Don’t ever feel guilty for holding those babies. <3
Ps. Yes I was annoyed with my husband the next day. And seriously, how can he sleep so heavily??
This post was written by Mrs. Mombastic and reprinted with permission.
