All we want as parents is for our kids to be happy and feel safe, but sometimes those waters get a little muddied when our kids act in a way that we don't expect. Just take it from one mom on Reddit, whose 9-year-old boy secretly wore makeup to school one day and when her husband found out about it, he totally lost his cool. Now the mom is wondering how to navigate this sticky situation not only with how to support her child but also with dealing with dad, and the Internet has a few choice words for this mama's husband.
User Pthrowaway explained that her son has always had a bit of a "girly" side to him despite her husband's attempts to make him like "manly" things.
She explained that in the past, her boy had been bullied for being "girly" and her husband had made previous attempts to toughen up the little guy. But still, her son is sensitive, gets bullied for being "softer," and is now curious about makeup — much to his father's dismay.
"My husband was raised in a strict evangelical family in the rural midwest and has very traditional views on masculinity, and though he loves our son to death, this has been a point of contention in their relationship," she wrote. "He's always after my son to get interested in more traditionally 'boyish' things like sports, hunting, cars, etc. He sometimes gets a little irritated when my son instead prefers to read books at home or play around with his little sister and her dolls."
But recently, mom caught her son trying on some of her makeup. "Just some blush, mascara, lipstick, etc. It was a little surprising to me, but my first thought was that my son had actually done a pretty good job at applying it, LOL," she wrote. "I asked him what he was doing and he got really embarrassed, said he was just messing around with it and wouldn't do it again. I said okay and didn't press the issue further, since I felt he was uncomfortable."
But her son's curiosity with makeup recently brought the worst out in her husband, after the little guy was caught wearing blush and lipstick to school.
Because her boy sometimes runs directly into the carpool vehicle in the morning, mom explained that she missed the fact that he was wearing a bit of makeup to school one day. "We only found out from the parent of a friend, who ended up calling my husband about it after school," she wrote.
Unfortunately, dad "freaked out" over his son's new hobby. Instead of having a conversation with him about his new interest, he confronted him while mom wasn't home and wouldn't accept the child's initial answer that he tried it because he liked the way it looked.
"My husband ended up yelling at my son, spanking him, and sending him to his room," she wrote. "I'm at a loss for what to do here. I think what my husband did is unacceptable, and I don't know how to deal with this going forward. I want my son to be able to express himself, but I don't want him to be bullied or made fun of."
What should this torn mother do?
People online didn't hold back about their feelings. That woman's husband was acting wayyy out of line.
"Your husband is the bully here," one person told her.
Others agreed she shouldn't worry about her son being bullied at school when her husband was doing enough damage on his own.
Someone else pointed out that there are many reasons why kids do things that aren't considered "gender normative." It's normal and totally okay.
Mom needs to comfort her son first and then go to her husband to get him on the same page as she is. Liking makeup and "girly" things doesn't really say anything about her son's sexuality — and even if it did, that's still no reason to spank a kid.
Many people recommended that the family go to counseling with a therapist who specializes in LGBTQ kids if it seems as if her husband won't come around on his own, but almost everyone agreed: Her kid needs to be priority number one.
Or as another Reddit user perfectly advised this: "You owe your son your protection. You need to communicate to both of them that what your husband did was wrong. And if you can't do that, you need to look long and hard at yourself, because love is not passive. Love protects."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
