Let's get real. No one wants to get up in the middle of the night to take care of newborns, but someone has to do it. Some men feel like it's still their wife's responsibility to get up with their baby, but more and more women are pushing back, saying that the task should be shared equally. Well, one new dad is absolutely positive that he shouldn't have to get up with his newborn twins, and the Internet is torn between flaming him for refusing to lend a helping hand and actually agreeing.
As the new dad explained, he doesn't think he should get up with his twins because he works during the day.
In a post defending his position on Reddit, the man wrote that though he and his wife only had twins three weeks ago, they can't agree over who should get up with the babies when they cry throughout the night. "I help whenever I’m not working but have told my wife she has to cover the overnights as I need sleep for work," he wrote. But his wife disagrees. She believes that both of them should take turns getting up with kids, even though she can nap during the day and has domestic help when she needs it.
In an update to his post, the dad also added some information about how often they have their nanny in the house. "The nanny is here 8am-3pm on weekdays. As soon as I get home I take over all dad duty until I go to sleep around 10pm. If it sounds like I’m just laying around after work, I’m not," he wrote.
He added that the nanny was originally their housekeeper, who has since taken over nanny duties, which gives his wife time to sleep. "She isn’t breastfeeding due to a medical condition," he wrote.
"I’m not trying to get out of doing my part," he wrote, but is he wrong?
Online, people felt this dad was making up excuses so he didn't have to help out.
One person pointed out that parenting is a two-person job. "Getting up at night is an inevitable part of parenting. You signed up for this when you had kiddos," the person commented. "Also friendly reminder that she pushed two living water melons out of her (expletive) and you don’t recover from that lickity split."
"Do you know for certain she can nap? Just because they are twins doesn't mean they sleep at the same time," someone else added. "I think you should help but not 50/50 because you work. They are your babies too."
And another person thought he needed to accept that being sleep-deprived is a part of parenthood. "I will say if your wife is struggling with it then maybe you should help out some. No parent can expect to pull 7-8 hours of sleep," they person
But not everyone agreed. Some people thought it was seriously weird his wife still felt like she needed help while she has a nanny.
"I'm sorry, but the mom gets a nanny to take care of the kids during the day and help with house chores, he helps with the kids as soon as he gets home, and she gets to sleep in on the weekends," one person wrote. "If it was just him and her, I'd agree, but given the circumstances, I'd say it's fair to have her to most of the night wake-ups."
And someone else argued why this setup was unfair to the dad. "You work significantly longer hours than the average person, and you’re the only breadwinner right now. You can’t hire a nanny to help you with your job, or lessen your burden of responsibility," the person added.
"If she gets help from nanny/housekeeper and is not required to do any housework, she can rest during the day," wrote a third person. "Working 70 hour weeks is hard enough already when you get enough sleep."
In the end, the dad shot back that he was tired of seeing his post get flamed. "Insulting me isn’t constructive in any way," he wrote.
"Apparently I’m getting flamed," he wrote. "I don’t need to be called a piece of (expletive). I came here for a legit AITA and for thoughts."
"Thanks for those who have given thoughtful advice [sic] and opinions on both sides. A big go (expletive) yourself to the people who are salty and down right rude and the one guy who said I should’ve aborted my kids if I didn’t wanna raise them. Holy (expletive) some people are crazy."
Hopefully these two can find a way to share the load that works for both of them.
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