It can be difficult to know the right thing to do when a family member can't get pregnant and have the baby they've always wanted. Sometimes there are no words that can make them feel like everything is going to be all right. But what if you could completely change their fortune and give them the biological child that they've always dreamed of? That was the conundrum one man was in with his identical twin brother, who can't have kids asked if he would donate his sperm. However, the man feels the gesture is sort of "weird" and he doesn't really think it's a good idea. Is he wrong for saying no?
The man explained that since his identical twin learned that he was sterile, he's asked him if he would be willing to donate his sperm.
As hard as it was for his brother to learn that he was sterile, it's been harder for him and his wife to find a donor, the man explained in his anonymous Reddit post. That is why they floated an idea by him: What if he were to donate his sperm to the couple?
"Asking your brother to donate sperm for you might be an odd or even inappropriate request in most circumstances, but ours is a unique one — we are identical twins," he continued. And because they share 100 percent of their DNA, his twin's children would biologically belong to the both of them.
But the man wrote that he isn't sure he's comfortable with the situation ...
"My brother views having an identical twin as a great stroke of luck in this situation, and an opportunity to be able to have his own children after all," he wrote.
Although his twin is keen on this plan as the solution to his heartbreaking problem, his fertile brother just can't get behind the idea. "I’m not so sure about the whole thing," he explained. "I haven’t officially declined; I just told him that 'I’ll think about it.' I’m married, and just think the whole thing seems a bit weird and 'off.'"
Is he wrong for not wanting to donate?
Some people felt like this guy had no good reason to say no to his brother and sister-in-law.
"Why are you being so weird about donating sperm to your IDENTICAL twin brother? " one person asked in the comments. "Sure I believe you have a complete right to your individual identity and possessiveness of YOUR sperm. But really, Jesus, I would be so (expletive) pissed if I was so unlucky to be born with an identical twin who is acting so selfish and possessive over something that really, doesn’t make sense to be possessive over."
"I'd really think about if you really want to not do this for your brother," another person agreed. "I can't imagine not being willing to help out if my sibling was in a similar situation."
And a third person chimed in that the man was making a mistake. "Of course you're not the (expletive) here but considering you're his twin brother there is literally not a single human on this earth who is a better choice than you," the person added.
But other people felt like it was wrong for the man to feel pressured into doing something he didn't want to do.
"Your body, your choice," one person commented. "Would it be insanely convenient? Sure but that doesn’t mean you have to do anything you don’t want to."
And another person took umbrage with the people calling the OP selfish. "That's like calling someone selfish for not giving up their kidney because they have two … or calling someone selfish for not giving blood. It's their body and making choices about your own body isn't selfish — it's being autonomous."
Someone else thought that people would change their tunes if the brothers weren't twins. The reasons not to donate are "the same reasons people wouldn't want to donate sperm to their non-twin siblings," the person commented. "Being a twin makes it better for his brother not OP. OP still has to watch someone else raise a child he sired and that can take an emotional toll on you even if the person raising him is genetically identical to you."
But after careful deliberation, the brother decided that he WOULD donate his sperm after all.
He wrote that after considering the comments of his post, "I am going to go through with the sperm donation after all, and allow my brother to have a child."
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