When you get married, you can say goodbye to boundaries. Your spouse will all too soon learn what you sound like when you're snoring, what you look like in the morning, and yes, they'll definitely becoming privy to the smell of your farts and when you poop. There's nothing wrong with a little intimacy, right? Well, apparently that type of intimacy is not for everyone. As one man explained, his wife is extremely embarrassed about her bodily functions and did not respond well when he managed to catch her doing number two for the first time in their marriage.
The husband explained that his wife is typically "one of those super prim and proper chicks."
Meaning she doesn't really like it to be known when she needs to perform a bodily function, he continued in a post on Reddit. But that doesn't mean the man hasn't wondered when she's letting loose.
"When asked about it she completely denies she does any of these things," he wrote. "I've never managed to catch her, up until she had our daughter."
His wife had an emergency C-section, which had taken a toll on her body so she needed help getting to and from the porcelain palace. "Since she's so weird about 'needing privacy to pee,' I'd just go to the other room and she'd call me when she was done," he continued. But after his wife took a little too long, the husband came to a startling realization. She must be taking a good, old-fashion dump.
"So I went in there and sure enough she was," he wrote. "I teased her and was like, 'See! I knew you (expletive) too!' She got real embarrassed and told me to shut up and leave her alone and started to cry so I left to let her finish, but teased her about afterwards.'" Seeing that his wife got "real emotional" about it, he decided to leave her alone for a bit before "I figured I could finally tease her again."
"Every once in a while I'll casually bring it up, like we'll be talking about something and I'll be like 'still it wasn't as bad as that time you (expletive). Man that was awful, I could smell it from in here!'" he explained.
Would you guess that his wife hates it when he says that? "She always gets mad and yells at me to shut up, which is hilarious," he added.
It finally became clear to the man that it really, really wasn't funny to his wife. "Well she broke down the other day and started yelling and sobbing when I brought it up saying that was a difficult time for her and she's still embarrassed about it and she hates me making fun of her for it," he wrote. "I told her it's just funny because it's the only time I got to catch her doing it, and its harmless teasing and it's no big deal."
"I kind of feel bad because she was really crying about it, and my friend said I was a jerk for making fun of something that happened right after giving birth," he continued. So was he wrong? "I'm just trying to have fun and joke around with her," he reasoned.
Without a doubt, people were not pleased with his boneheaded hubby.
"Dude, come on," one person wrote in the comments. "You know this kind of stuff embarrasses her. She was mortified when you walked in on her. She continued to be mortified when you brought it up. And you still kept doing it! You made your wife CRY! That’s not harmless teasing. That’s outright bullying."
"I don't even understand the thought process that went into going in there when he knew she was pooping. That's so disgusting and disrespectful to me when he knew she was so embarrassed by it," another commenter added.
One mom chimed in that it might not only have been shame that was getting to her. "Not to be gross here but I'd like to add that 'going number 2' shortly after giving birth is honestly horrifying, no amount of talking about it with the nurses prepared me for it," she wrote. "For about a week or so after it's … not at all a fun experience … I'd have cried too if my husband had made fun of me during it and I'm not even sensitive to the whole bodily function issue! I cant imagine what this poor lady felt, OP is super YTA for that alone!"
A few heartless commenters thought the wife need to grow up.
"Wait, this woman is an adult and still denies (expletive) and farting? Time to grow the (expletive) up," wrote one commenter.
"Any adult woman who claims she doesn’t burp, fart, or (expletive) has mental issues," a second person agreed. "Time for her to grow up."
One person thought that everyone was getting wound up over nothing. "People in this thread need to mellow out," the commenter wrote. "Couples tease each other all the time. If anything, ask her why she's so embarrassed, and discuss that. It's not something to break down about, normally, and those calling you emotionally immature have it backwards. Your wife is so self-conscious that she has a breakdown over this? That's emotional immaturity."
In the end, however, the internet actually did some good and brought the husband to his senses. "Welp, I did not expect this to blow up like it did," he wrote in an edit to his original post. "I guess the general consensus is that I am TA, so I guess I'll try to tone it down for now until she has more time to calm down over it."
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