Before Sebastian Moylan's unexpected suicide last week, he and his wife, Jermimah, had reportedly been trying for a baby. His sudden loss seemed to dash those hopes for Jermimah. Now, however, the grieving wife has launched a bid to keep trying to have a child with the man she loved. And remarkably, it seems she might still be able to do just that.
According to the Daily Mail, the Australian couple married in 2015 and were planning to have a baby in 2020.
Twenty-seven-year-old Jermimah had been excited to have a baby — and apparently, so was Sebastian, who designed a home for the family to live in — but her world came crashing down when her husband killed himself August 14.
Despite her heartache, Jermimah knew she needed to act quickly if she wanted to keep the plans of starting a family with Sebastian alive. So at 10:30 p.m. on the night of her husband's death, the grief-stricken wife rushed to New South Wales Supreme Court and made an unusual request: She wanted the right to remove sperm from Sebastian's body to use it for insemination later.
She knew it was a long shot. In fact, a worker at the Coroner's Court told Jermimah earlier that day that only one case of post-mortal sperm removal in the last seven years had been won. But Jermimah was determined to make her dream happen.
Looking to the other case for hope, Jermimah reached out to the same lawyers who'd won another woman the right to harvest her boyfriend's sperm.
In that case, Ayla Cresswell of Queensland, Australia, had won the right to retrieve sperm from her boyfriend Joshua Davies after his suicide in 2016. After Jermimah tracked down Cresswell's lawyers, they worked together well into the night to finalize her own request.
And to her shock — and delight — Jermimah won her case, too.
"It brings me some form of closure and some form of hope for a family with the only man I ever wanted to have one with," Jermimah later shared. "He would have made the most incredible dad and his future daughter or son will know how amazing he is and will grow up as if he's in the house."
As you might imagine, there's a definite urgency needed when it comes to postmortem sperm retrieval. A doctor for the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, who performed Sebastian's retrieval on August 15, told the Daily Mail that it must be done within 24 hours of death. But remarkably, once it's retrieved, the sperm can be frozen for up to 10 years before it's no longer usable, thanks to advancements of science.
Still, even though Jermimah was overjoyed to win her court case, she still has one more legal battle to see through.
Believe it or not, Jermimah may have won the right to retrieve the sperm and store it — but doesn't yet have permission to use it.
There's also another matter to consider: the cost of this whole ordeal.
Since taking on her mission to retrieve Sebastian's sperm, Jermimah faces the costly bill of IVF, which can run patients up to $15,000 per round. This comes on top of funeral fees, lawyer's fees, court costs, fees for the retrieval … all while still paying off the couple's dream home.
But luckily, the internet has swooped in to help. Sebastian's twin brother, Drew, set up a GoFundMe page to help Jermimah offset some of the financial burden, and as of this writing it's raised more than $40,000.
"I'll remember his fun-loving side, his smile, his ability to always want to put others before himself, his laugh and the unmatched and untethered love he had for Jermimah," Drew told the Daily Mail, before adding that there were no signs beforehand that his brother would ever take his own life. "He had the everyday stresses with work and worry about money and getting things finished around the house … but don't we all? I was in utter shock when I found out."
As for Jermimah, she believes it was grief that led to her husband's death, saying he never really got over his father's death 18 months ago.
"We all get stressed over work, money and life, but taking that final step means he must have bottled more than we ever thought up," she shared.
Now, the wife is using her husband's death to help encourage other couples to make sure they have their final wishes written down, just in case.
"Recording a simple note with a doctor as to whether they consent to the removal of eggs or sperm after death can make all the difference in providing an opportunity to re-create a joint dream and continue a legacy," she explained.
Jermimah added that she hopes her story can help raise awareness about suicide and remove the stigma.
"There's this negative stigma around males and telling someone about their feelings or what they are going through," she said. "Male mental health and suicide is on the rise and Australia is not doing enough about it. Suicide is the end. There's no coming back from that and it's something that we as a family now know too well."
