Choosing a baby name is a heavy responsibility for any new parent. Although some decide to go with a unique name they've never heard before, others dig into their family tree, naming their children after relatives long gone but not forgotten. One man on Reddit recently decided to do the latter, when he lovingly named his baby after his late sister. The only problem? The decision hasn't sat well with his surviving sister, who is ticked — because she'd already called dibs on the name herself.
Now, it's sparked a family feud like no other. In his anonymous post, the new dad admits that technically, his sister did call the name, but since it went unused he thought it was fine to call his new baby girl Rowan. He slightly miscalculated, however, and now the two are feuding over this family name.
In his anonymous post, the new dad explained that his sister Rowan died in a car accident when she was just 18 years old.
At the time, the man was 13 and his younger sister was 9, but the entire family was understandably "devastated."
"My little sister later told me she wanted to name her future child after Rowan," he continued, explaining that "this was the year of Rowan's death and it wasn’t mentioned further."
It's been 17 years since he lost his sister, and at 30, the new father was ecstatic to welcome his own baby girl into the world — who he and his wife named Rowan Harper. ("We had planned on the name Rosalie, but we chose Rowan on the spot because it felt right," he added.)
But his younger sister, who is now 25, is furious, because her older brother took the baby name she'd always wanted and hadn't yet had the chance to use.
Some people on Reddit felt that the poster had been a complete bonehead about this whole thing.
"If I’m reading your post correctly, you knew that your little sister wanted to use the name Rowan and you took it anyway," one person wrote. "That’s so [expletive]. You could have used it as a middle name, or spoken to your sister about you using the name instead. To just go ahead and take it is really crappy."
Yikes.
But they're not the only person who found it off-putting.
"She told you she wanted to use the name and you used it anyway?" another person asked. "That’s pretty disrespectful."
"You knew she intended on naming her future child after her," a third commenter piled on. "Yes, she was young at the time. But, you knew she wanted to do it. You had another name planned, and went with the other as a "spur of the moment," decision. You should have discussed this with her before making it final. That is all you had to do. She likely would have been ok with it, had you asked."
However, others argued that the poster shouldn't be held responsible for something that was said 16 years ago.
"Names are not trademarks, you can name your kid whatever you want," one person said. "A name isn't less special because someone else shares the same first name."
After all, it has been a long time since his sister called dibs.
"If you do the math I think the little sister mentioned this once when she was 9 to 10 years old," one person wrote. "The little sister isn't even guaranteed to have a baby girl in the future and she should have been happy for OP instead of acting like OP stole the name."
"This was mentioned 16 years ago and never again?" another chimed in. "No, your sister doesn't have claim on the name."
The new dad did later jump in to defend himself, explaining that at the time of the birth, he'd "completely forgotten" about his sister's intentions.
"I have texted sis to tell her if she doesn’t want her baby and mine to share the name, I don’t mind her nicknaming my baby 'Ro', 'Roo,' or 'Harper,'" he continued. "Hopefully that’s a good compromise."
At the end of the day, though, even he realized that the compromise wasn't quite enough.
"We will rename our daughter to Roan Harper rather than Rowan Harper," he announced, noting that "the names are similar and I’m happy with that."
He did add that he's "still upset, since you know, Rowan was my sister too," but ultimately, he came around on things because his other sister's feelings were hurt, and that's the last thing he wanted.
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