It's been one week since a family in Brisbane, Australia, had their world shattered by the loss of their 6-week-old twins in what is being described as a tragic co-sleeping accident. Although the family's name is still being withheld, the father spoke out in an exclusive interview with the Courier Mail this week to share his and his wife's heartache, as well as some further details about how his newborns, Indiana and Violet, died.
The father confirmed that his twin daughters died as the result of co-sleeping.
The twins were found unconscious next to their mom on November 27. It was only the second time the parents had tried a co-sleeping arrangement, he said, and they were aware of the risks. Still, the couple was overwhelmed with the sleeping and feeding schedule of two newborns while also caring for their 5-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son, who has autism.
The dad said his wife slept with the twins the night of November 26 and told him to stay in another room, so he could get a good night's rest and wake up early to bring their older children to school.
But when he came into the room the next morning, he could tell immediately that something wasn't right.
It was the first sight of Violet that instantly made his heart sink.
“I got to name her Violet,” he said. “She was my little cutie. When I went in … I knew she’d gone. Indiana was still warm and my wife was thinking enough to call for help, but at the hospital we were told she had lost too much oxygen … We knew she wouldn’t make it.”
Neighbors also told the Courier Mail that they could hear the father's cries from across the street. "He was howling and screaming," one neighbor shared. "I thought someone was dead and it really scared me. … he was so upset."
One of the twins was pronounced dead at home and the other later died at the hospital.
The family has since moved out of the home, as the parents are struggling to cope with the grief.
The father shared his grief and how they are continuing to cope with their new reality and explain it to their other kids, as their devastated 2-year-old searches the house for his baby sisters. "We're in a very dark place. But we have to try to keep going for our other children," he said. "Our daughter is almost 5, we told her the truth. We didn't say they had fallen asleep … we told her they had died."
Family friend Kieran Garratt, who has since set up a GoFundMe page for the family, has described the parents as beside themselves since the accident, and unable to live in the home, which now feels like "a haunted house."
“I’ve spoken to the parents and spent a lot of time with them as well," Garratt told Yahoo News Australia. "They’re not coping at all, as you can imagine. I don’t even have a set of adjectives for it. They’re just ghostly. Haunted."
The children are also said to have had difficulty coping. Although the parents have told their 5-year-old the twins are gone, it hasn't been easy.
As Garratt shared in a separate interview, the 2-year-old is not yet able to understand. “The younger boy — his behavior is different, the poor lad. He was really gentle with the girls when they were alive."
For now, the father hopes that if anything, his story serves as a warning to others.
Garratt's GoFundMe page, which was set up to help cover funeral costs, has since surpassed its goal, raising $24,000 of its $20,000 target, as strangers all over the world have offered their support.
"These angels graced us for only six beautiful weeks but have created such a hole since their passing," he wrote on the page.
In the US, sleep-related deaths claim the lives of some 3,500 infants each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The cause of these deaths vary widely, from sudden infant death syndrome, or SIDS, to accidental suffocation to deaths from unknown causes.
Still, experts say that far too many of them are preventable.
“We must do more to ensure every family knows the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommendations – babies should sleep on their backs, without any toys or soft bedding, and in their own crib," CDC Director Brenda Fitzgerald has said. "Parents are encouraged to share a room with the baby, but not the same bed. These strategies will help reduce the risk and protect our babies from harm.”
Read the academy's full sleep safety guidelines here.
