It shouldn't be a chore to get your partner to pitch in with the kids, but sadly, that isn't always the case for some couples. As one woman on Reddit recently shared, her husband has been ditching his parenting responsibilities with their newborn twins — going so far as hiding out in the bathroom for long periods of time to get away with it. The new mom is not about to stand for it, though. She recently laid down the law to her husband, telling him that if he spends too much time on the toilet, she's going to turn off their Wi-Fi.
According to the mom, both parents are on parental leave, but it seems like she's the only one caring for their kids.
No matter what task needs to be done — from diaper changes to feedings — it seems like her husband always needs to head to the bathroom before offering to help out. Although she admits that her husband takes medication, which might make him have to ahem need the bathroom for longer stretches of time, his doctor told her that it would be unlikely he'd need to go with such frequency. In fact, when it was brought up to his doctor and a checkup was suggested, the husband immediately said, " Oh it's not THAT bad," and refused to go in.
"I would rather let him use the restroom first than have to put down a baby mid task, but over the past couple months he has been spending more and more time in there," she wrote. "He always takes his phone. He is always watching YouTube. His average session is 25 minutes in there, often longer, rarely shorter."
The mom further explained that she needs the most help when it comes to feeding their twins — one needs to be held during feedings, and it can be tricky feeding one while the other baby waits.
"I will warm up bottles, change one baby bum, get the first one fed, burped, and laid down in their crib, get the other baby changed and be settling down to feed baby number two before he can be bothered to emerge and figure out why one child has been screaming because they had to watch their sibling eat," she explained. "And then the other one cries when they don't get to cuddle at all because I have to immediately set them down to feed the hysterically sobbing child."
So recently, the wife decided to crack down on her husband's toilet time.
"Today I started a new rule," she explained. "If he is in the bathroom for more than 10 minutes, I flip the WiFi off."
And guess what? Her threat has totally worked.
"He has not spent more than 15 minutes in the bathroom at a stretch today, but is extremely upset," she wrote. "I feel like the fact that without the WiFi his uncontrollable toilet issue cleared up rather quickly proves why it needs to be done, but he feels I am being unreasonable, and I need to make sure sleep deprivation isn't making me an [expletive]."
A lot of people agreed with her annoyance, and accused her husband of pulling a fast one.
"What kind of a man [expletive] around on the internet while his baby screams and cries?" one commenter asked. "He deserves it."
"This. Not The [Expletive]," a second person added. "Your husband is. We get it, caring for two children is hard, that's why it's not fair for him to be bailing on you."
"Your husband is a huge, huge [expletive]," another said. "What kind of partner leaves their spouse alone with TWO babies that need to be tended to. I’d be pi–ed."
Others thought the woman was being too hasty and should have talked it out first.
"Your actions are incredibly passive aggressive and his are avoidant," one person commented. "Neither is healthy. Where is the communication in all of this?"
"You are passive aggressive," a second person added. "If you want him to spend less time in the bathroom, ask him directly, use your words, like an adult."
A third person didn't mince words:
"You're adults with babies! Talk to each other instead of trying to manage a behavior. The dad is probably just needing a mental break, which is completely normal, but the way in which he's going about it ISN'T, so ask him to be there for the feeding and take a break afterwards, and also get some downtime of your own sorted so it's not only him receiving a break at your expense."
Even though we don't know if the poster's tactic will work in the long run, we agree that something had to be done. Let's just hope that the woman's husband gets with the picture — or else she will have to take away his phone, pronto.
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