Divorces, while messy and complicated, often lead to better lives lived in the end. But that doesn't mean the road to peace isn't bumpy as heck; separation can bring out the worst in us. One mom was feeling slightly guilty when she got "into it" with her ex-husband and called him out for being a bad father. Now she wants to know if she was way off base or totally in the right.
The mom admitted off the bat that she felt awful but also slightly relieved, and gave a little background into their relationship.
In detail, she noted how since after leaving her earlier in the year, despite the fact that she made it clear he can see their daughter as much as he wants, the dad has made little effort.
"He hasn't been there when she's not been very well, he doesn't even message to ask about her every day and puts his work first," she claims. :When he did take her out, it was only to his parents and they would end up mainly looking after her."
After getting into an argument, the mom lost it when he said: "I'm a better dad now that I'm not with you."
The mom says this is where she "snapped like a twig" and told him how it really is.
"[I] told him he's not a better dad. Pointed out he never sees her, he never makes the effort and he hardly even asks about her. He hasn't been there for her when she's not very well, he's not there when she's waking up from nightmares and doesn't have to deal with any of the hard times that comes with having a child anymore."
The mom thinks he only "feels" like a better dad because he can "come and go as he chooses."
"When we were together he was very stressy with her, always losing his patience and getting annoyed at her," she claims.
So she asked Reddit: Was she way off base for laying him out like that?
People not only thought the mom was in the right, they applauded her standing up for herself and her daughter.
"He left you and your daughter and thinks he gets to decide when he's a parent and when he's a single guy," one user pointed out. "Start holding him to set times and don't let him float in and out of your daughter's life as he pleases. Kids need structure and he's doing damage with his reckless, selfish behavior."
PREACH.
Others noted that sometimes things like that just need to be said.
"He's a lazy, uninvolved father and always has been from the sound of it," confirmed someone else. "He'll pop up when she's grown and be surprised she's more attached to a grandad, uncle, stepdad, etc., then whine about how she's aloof with him. The truth hurts sometimes. Maybe hearing it so bluntly might make him try harder."
And others reminded her of how important it is that she keep being strong for herself and her daughter.
"You told him the truth. He sounds deluded if he thinks that’s good parenting. Your little girl deserves better and he won’t step up if he’s not realistic about what a good parent is."
So there you have it mama, keep being fierce for both your sakes.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
