Leaning something truly earth-shattering about your partner is always disorienting, but when you're days away from giving birth, it can be especially life-altering.
And for one mom-to-be on Reddit who discovered her boyfriend of two years was actually still secretly married, that couldn't be truer statement.
"We've been together for two years but he lives in a different city," she explained.
"When I got pregnant, he said he was going to move to my city and we would move in together, he just needed to finalize some things with his ex wife. He told me he was divorced when we met and I never had any reason to question it. I knew that he had 2 kids with her as well, he told me the truth about that."
It was just the part where he wasn't divorced, let alone separated from his wife that was the lie.
"So fast forward, I'm 39 weeks and he suddenly got uncommunicative which is less than ideal when you're literally about to give birth," she wrote. "Bear in mind that he was supposed to have been fully moved in here a month ago."
Which he put off by blaming the current health crisis.
But when the mom-to-be discovered that she was about to be induced, she put her foot down and demanded to know what was up.
It was then she learned that he had no intention of ever really making a life with her and their child.Â
"I don't feel sorry for him for that because that's his own fault, but obviously literally four days before giving birth isn't the time you want to get this news and I have no idea what to do now," she confessed. Though she also noted she obviously doesn't want him as a partner anymore.Â
"I feel like I mean I can take care of the baby but I was preparing to have a partner to take care of it with me, you know?"
People warned the mom to be that she had to find a lawyer and find one fast.
"Do not take it upon yourself to tell his wife or start anything that might be later deemed 'drama,'â advised one lawyer in the thread. "Yes, Iâm aware itâs easy for me to say this laying here on my couch compared to what youâre going through. Find a family lawyer immediately upon returning from the hospital. Do exactly as they say."
Though some insisted she call before giving birth.
Many also advised that she not contact the wife, no matter how tempted she may be.
"I wouldn't take on the responsibility of telling his wife," advised another user. "That's rage directed at you in a vulnerable time and you don't need that noise. That is his mess let him deal with it… Lawyer up post haste, like today and have all further communication go through them."
The mom-to-be was active in the thread, and at one point said she was "dumb" enough to trust he'd be there for her.
"Don't," one user wrote back. "Don't do that to yourself. You couldn't have known, and this was not on you. Trusting people is not a character flaw. There may have been clues, but that's part of the reason why he went for someone who was 21 at the time – most people in their early 20's don't have enough life experience running into shitty people yet to be able to detect when something is off, or if someone is showing signs of lying, being manipulative or controlling. Hell, he even deceived his wife for two years, and she lives with him and has known him for years longer than you."
Here's to hoping this woman can enjoy her journey into motherhood and move past this living nightmare.
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