For parents who are divorced, the number one goal is to peacefully co-parent as much as possible. And when that is actually achieved, a family can confidently say that their separation was for the best.
One divorced mom on Reddit has achieved that symbiotic relationship with her ex, whom she lauds as a fantastic father. The only problem? Her son openly prefers him over her, and it's breaking this mama's heart.
"My son would usually spend 3 days with me and 4 with his dad per week, depending on our work schedules," the mom explains.
Since isolation began, the parents have been switching every three days consistently, which means more equal time with each of them.
"My son[']s comments have been happening for a long time," she admitted. "He says several times a day how he’s sad because he misses daddy and wants daddy with him, always asking when he’s going to go back over there, saying he wants to spend more days with him, and generally talking up what they do there versus here."
"I am confident he doesn’t say these things to his dad about me or wanting to be with me," she says.
"The only times he EVER misses me openly is when he’s away from me for a really long time, either with grandparents or his dad if I’m gone," she says.
That is hard to handle, divorced or not.
The mom admitted it is starting to grate on her.
Especially now that he is the only one of two people she sees, it can be especially heartbreaking to deal with.
"I love him so much and I always have felt like I’m not a good enough mother, but I just wish he had the same affections for me as he does for his dad," she stated.
So she asked Reddit: What can she do to help talk to him about how he’s feeling or to help her cope with this/understand it better?
People rallied around the mom to really give her one solid message: It's totally a phase.
"Hey, you're an amazing mom," complimented one user. "Sometimes kids go through stages, and it's normal for a boy to idolize his father this way. It's likely completely arbitrary! He might go through a phase soon where he worships the ground you step on and his dad is just 'Meh'. I know it feels like a competition right now, but don't worry, it's not.
"It's not about how you parent him, or about what cool things you think his dad is doing that you're not," the person continued. "It's something that happens universally, to most parents, and while I understand it's difficult to handle, it doesn't reflect how much your kid loves you in the slightest."
Many boy moms assured her that this might just be a "guy thing."
"My son, now 10, is a carbon copy of his dad," one person wrote. "They have so much fun together. When he was six dad definitely hung the moon and that was okay. Now that he’s older he appreciates the differences between my role as mom and dad’s role as dad."
Either way, we hope this mama finds some peace and can continually coexist with dad in a positive way. After all, nothing will earn a child's affection quite like kind consistency.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
