If you somehow manage to get yourself off the couch, pour your body into a sports bra and leggings, and go anywhere near an exercise video or Zoom workout during this global health crisis, you are pretty close to a national hero. The motivation to feel the burn is real low here, folks. But we couldn't even imagine what it would be like to try and get yourself to exercise through all of this AND pregnancy. So, it's no surprise that Twitter tore one man apart after he sent out a self-congratulatory tweet for not lecturing his pregnant wife to exercise.
Travis D. Hughes wanted to make a big impact with the tweet he posted Sunday.
The commercial real estate lawyer from Atlanta probably had the best intentions, but his message maybe fell flat.
"My wife, who is almost 7 months pregnant, wasn't in the mood to work out this morning," he wrote. "So, rather than lecture to her, resent her, or whine about it …"
Wait what?
"I threw on the exercise video and did it with her," he added.
Their kids end up joining in on the exercise video too.
"No one talks about this part of marriage/dating," he concluded.
Hughes' tweet racked up over 30,000 likes online, but not because people could relate to his sentiment.
In fact, many people thought his message was deeply misguided.
"Hmmm, but does she now rightfully resent you for not only forcing her to exercise at 7 months pregnant, when she didn't feel up to it, but also being the sort to resent her if she didn't?" one commenter wrote in the tweet's thread. "You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back for this."
A second person summarized exactly what was wrong with Hughes' tweet: "My wife, who is almost 7 months pregnant, wasn't in the mood to work out this morning. So, rather than lecture to her, resent her, or whine about it, I went the passive-aggressive route."
"I give this post four-and-a-half 'yikes' and two 'whoa boys,'" someone else joked.
A few chose to agree with the dad.
"See, in my world, my partner would be the first to support me if I didn’t feel like working out, especially at 7 months of pregnancy," one person wrote in.
"Folks are being purposefully obtuse, I understood exactly what you meant by this," a second person commented.
"Exercise is recommended to a lot of pregnant women," the person continued. "It’s really essential especially right now. I don’t see how a man encouraging his wife to stay healthy is an issue to you."
"I’m confused on why everybody so in their feelings bout my man motivating HIS wife to workout by doing it with her," a third person chimed in. "Y’all get mad over anything I swear."
After the blowback, Hughes tried to defend it and explain that resentment in marriage is common.
Although his tweet almost implied that he would resent his pregnant wife for not keeping in shape, Hughes tried to pass it off as typical marriage struggles.
"Resentment in marriages/relationships is extraordinarily common, whether wrong or right," he wrote later in the thread, citing financial issues, illness, or injury as common sources of that feeling.
"Men cheat on their partners daily for all sorts of reasons," he added. "As do women. The point was that rather than harbor some negative emotion or be passive-aggressive, I decided to support my wife in this instance by doing the work with her."
Hughes chalked it all up to being "accountability partners" with his wife.
He wrote later in the thread that the two have known each other for two decades and "and can be totally authentic with each other."
And their ability to hold each other accountable "allows us to thrive."
The husband concluded that he was only trying to illustrate how you could stop resentment in your marriage "by being the change you want to see."
"There is no resentment in my home," he wrote. "Just like nowhere did I mention or suggest someone was forced to do something."
The dad signed off from the drama by ending his Twitter thread and going back to work.
It would be different if his wife had been the one tweeting that her husband did her a huge favor by encouraging her to exercise.
But the way Hughes describes it, the tweet can be read as shaming, which is the last thing a man should be doing to his partner — especially one who's pregnant.
