Fact: Co-sleeping can be dangerous. But what if instead of a mother wanting to sleep with their baby, it's a grandma? That's the dilemma that one woman faced when her mother-in-law tried to sneak in that she was ordering a new bed big enough for two — and the mom shut that down really fast.
The mom is already overwhelmed by her mother-in-law.
Ever since her now 8-month-old son was born, she's felt like she has to "compete" with her MIL, she wrote online. And it probably doesn't help that the two live together while she and her husband save money for a home.
"She has backed off since I’ve had to put my foot down so many times because she is a boundary stomper," she wrote. "But that gets exhausting and looking back, since Mother’s Day is coming up, I feel like I cannot thoroughly enjoy motherhood."
Her MIL does everything in her power to take her grandson's attention off of his mother.
In fact, for the first three months of her son's life, her MIL would wake up the mom and ask if she needed help when her son needed a nighttime diaper change.
"And politely, I’d tell her NO," the original poster (OP) recalled. "You’d think after the first one to two weeks she’d get it."
But it didn't stop there.
"She would always make comments like if I needed anything at night to knock on her door," she continued. "When he’d get sick she would say we could wake her and she can look after him. Or she’d make comments about Dear Son staying in her room."
Her son is now teething -- so of course he's been waking up at night in tears.
Again, her MIL told the mom that she could always wake her up if her son is crying.
"Finally, I told her that it would never happen," she wrote. "That physiologically I could not wake up with my DS crying and hand him over to someone else to console him."
She's tried so hard to tell her MIL that she needs to let her be her son's mother.
That's especially true when the MIL picks on the OP for not dressing her baby the right way. And it's always struck her as odd that her MIL keeps trying to get her grandson into her bedroom.
"She would even caution me to not co-sleep with DS but would make comments or try to get him in her room," she continued. "My 'mother bear' radar goes off."
Recently, things between the two came to a head.
Her MIL told the OP that she wanted to downsize to a queen-size bed "because when DS comes over to spend the night, he can sleep with her."
"I’m sure my expression was far more telling than what I said because I was fuming," the OP wrote.
The mom asked her point-blank: "You plan on sleeping with my DS?"
"She replied, 'Well, not now but like when he is 2.' Hello, that is no better lady!"
Then her MIL "pouted" and agreed that she wouldn't co-sleep.
It's too late, however. The mom vows that her son will never spend the night with his grandmother when she moves out.
"There is far more intrusive, overbearing and just flat out rude behavior and comments from MIL that it would just be a novel here."
Co-sleeping with your grandson?
People in the comments were absolutely livid about the domineering grandma.
"Co-sleeping with an infant. Hell. to. the. no," one person wrote in the comments. "How can people be so stupid and selfish?"
"Based on your story and no other history of MIL, she truly misses being a mommy," a second commenter chimed in. "Look your MIL dead in the eyes and tell her it's your turn to be a mom, she needs to come to terms that with her emotions about wanting to be a mommy, and if she doesn't stop trying take your mommy moments, [h]er long term relationship with her grandchild is not looking healthy."
"Let her pout. She's a grown woman," someone else agreed. "Plus, the more time she spends in her room, the less time she is bothering you."
Luckily for the mom, she has a supportive husband.
He told his mom that she needs to back off and to "stop offering me 'help' any time I’m trying to be a mom."
"He agreed about DS not sleeping in her bed but I feel like he doesn’t want to be the bad guy either cause she’ll just stay in her room and pout," she added.
But that's just too bad for Grandma.
