Breastfeeding is an incredibly personal journey. The only people whose business it is on whether you are breastfeeding is strictly between you, your partner, and your baby. But if we're being honest, the "partner" part of that equation is just a courtesy.
One new dad, however, thinks he has a right to "force" a mom to continue breastfeeding, even though she's really done with the whole experience.
"My daughter, 10 months old, has recently started biting during breastfeeding," began a weary mom on Reddit.
"When she starts to bite, I simply tell her 'no' and put her down immediately. I only started doing this recently because my breasts kind of look like a war zone — I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore."
That is fair, because as anyone who has had a biter knows, breastfeeding a biter is no walk in the park.
The mom tried pumping as an aleternative, but in truth, that was pretty painful to do until she lets her breasts heal.
"Instead I've been doing a mix of pumping and formula," said the mom, which is a fairly common weaning practice. However, the husband is wholly against the part where formula is added.
"He was okay with me pumping and feeding our daughter until I started supplementing with formula. He believes that breastmilk is best and formula is the devil because it's not 'natural' or something. At this age, I'm giving her milk around 4-5 times a day, and still attempt to breastfeed once or twice a day."
Things got really bad when the dad made a drastic move.
"It reached the tipping point yesterday when he hid the formula so I'd have 'no choice' but to breastfeed our daughter," she said. "I ask him why he's doing this, and he simply says he doesn't think I'm trying hard enough because I stopped simply because she's biting me, and that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain."
People were ready to fight this dad on behalf of this mom.
"This is just plain awful, there's no mincing words, no other way to put it," one enraged reader wrote. "How [expletive] dare he. I am filled with righteous indignation on your behalf. A good husband wouldn't gaslight his wife into thinking that she is somehow doing her child wrong by making certain her child gets the nutrients she needs while making certain that her own body isn't relegated to the status of a chew toy.
"I don't even know you and I'm FUMING," the person continued. "NTA and I'm sorry but if my husband did this to me (hid formula to try to force me to breast feed; doubled down by accusing me of being a bad mother if I didn't follow his command) I would tell him I'd see the formula back immediately, or I'd see him in court."
Some felt that it crossed a line there was no going back from.
"I would go as far as to say the fact that he hid the formula so she'd be forced to breast feed is borderline abusive," one concerned reader wrote. "He purposefully put her in a position where she is forced to do something she doesn't want to do with her body and endure pain while doing so. Caring husbands shouldn't do that. One look at her bloody and beat up breasts and he should instantly be worried and trying to find out what he can do to help elevate the pain."
Most importantly, people took time to reassure the mom that she was doing nothing wrong.
"Yes, breastfeeding can be beneficial," acquiesced one reader. "However, when I was in childcare there was a saying we had when we gave advice to parents… 'Fed is best.' Do whatever you need to make sure your baby is fed regardless of method (breast, pumping, formula)."
The person added, "A fed baby is a healthy baby. That is what OP is doing. Breast feeding hurts her, but she’s still making sure her child gets what she needs. That is what a good parent does, OP is a good mother and how dare her husband imply otherwise."
Amen to that!
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