The most beautiful thing about America is our diversity. The idea many immigrant parents have when they come here is to give their children great opportunities while allowing them to retain their cultural identity.
However, many kids who grow up on US soil become "westernized," much to sometimes the dismay of their parents. One father on Reddit said his wife was feeling particularly upset about it, and he didn't hesitate to let his grown kids know.
The dad explained that he has a 23-year-old married son living with them for financial reasons and a 19-year-old-daughter who's home from college.
The father says that lately things at home have been tense.
"My wife has been having bouts of crying recently," he explained. "She just began menopause so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but I do think there are underlying issues that the hormones brought out. She has told me that she feels like she wasted her life, because she was a stay at home mom and she is not happy with how the children turned out."
The dad explained this was mostly due to their Palestinian heritage.
"She was born in Israel and I was born in the US, but neither of us wanted our children to be too Westernized. She feels like she failed to keep the balance and that our children have no respect for their culture," he admitted.
"Our son married a white woman (we don't care about that), left Christianity and his wife is a very vocal atheist. My wife can't stand having her in the house. Our daughter considers herself a political activist and has turned her back on everything her mother has taught her."
Things came to a head in the house when his wife and daughter-in-law got into a fight over mascara where his wife stormed off in tears.
"Our daughter made a comment about how high maintenance her mom is and I told them both to leave her alone, she is going through a lot," he wrote. "My son wanted to know, so I was honest that she feels like they've turned their backs on our culture and that she is disappointed. Now both kids are mad at their mother and my wife is mad at me, but I still think they deserved to know."
So now he wants to know: Did he cross the line?
People not only thought he was wrong, but they also said he may even be "at fault."
"You chose to bring your kids to be raised in a country that prioritizes individual choice and freedom, yet you somehow expected them to not be influenced by any of that surrounding them and be happy to be micromanaged and live in a culture that's foreign to them forever? That's a bit unrealistic," chided one user.
"They haven't turned their backs on their culture — they've turned their backs on your culture and your control," the person continued. "It is disappointing when kids want to make their own choices, but that's to be expected of kids who were raised in the US. Cut the drama, stop putting the blame on your kids, take some responsibility and live your own life. You'll all be happier — wife, you, the kids."
Others noted that his biggest mistake was betraying the trust of his partner.
"If she wanted to share, she would," pointed out one person. "You're her partner and if she is venting, then the hope is that you aren't going to tell the people she is venting about what she said."
Hopefully this family can figure out how to live harmoniously or, at the very least, communicate better.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
