Many of us believe family might come first, but when you're an aunt torn between a sibling and the well-being of a child, things can get tricky. That's the dilemma faced by a Redditor who took to the Am I the A–hole subreddit to share how she's siding with her soon-to-be ex-brother-in-law in his child custody case.
The original poster (OP) said her sister Sara is 27 and has a 2-year-old.
Her husband is often away on a ship for months at a time, because he's a sailor in the Merchant Marines.
"To save money when husband was away, she was living with me and my husband," wrote the OP. "But problem was our brother Jack (25). Him and Sara were always wild (before she married)." And when Sara's husband would go to sea, she would go out drinking with her younger brother.
The OP said she would find herself caring for her niece while her two younger siblings partied.
Ultimately, Sara's husband found out what was happening and asked for a divorce. "He also had a confrontation with Jack, and as my husband told me (who was present), Jack was openly mocking him," recalled the OP.
The OP explained that her sister "is immature and irresponsible and not fit to raise a child."
Although her husband doesn't agree with it, the Redditor noted that she wants to help her sister's soon-to-be ex with his child custody case. Then, she turned it over to the community to ask if she's wrong for making this move.
Redditors agreed that the OP isn't the jerk for doing what's best for her niece.
"You are doing what you believe is in the best interest for your niece," one person wrote. "I'm sure it will cause a bunch of drama in the family but what you are doing is likely for the best… Your sister needs to grow up."
Another shared, "People need to stop making child custody battles about sides, but instead about the kid. So many people have this idea that because someone is your friend, or family you need to help them win custody, as if it's this huge competition."
A third echoed that sentiment. "Protect that kid, if the mother isn’t responsible and offering a safe environment."
One Redditor asked if the soon-to-be ex-husband would be able to care for his daughter, given his long absences for work.
To that, another Redditor noted, "He will probably care for her while he is at home and then OP would watch her while he is at sea. Which works well with lots of families."
Here's hoping this family finds a resolution that protects the 2-year-old above all else.
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