Having a baby shower is a great way for new moms to acquire essential items before their babies arrive. Usually, they're events filled with generosity and abundance. Most of us get way more than we actually need. That was the case for one woman, who is now facing mixed reactions in an online forum because she decided not to share the love with her pregnant half sister.
The woman shared a post on the UK-based forum Mumsnet, asking users if she was being unreasonable for not gifting her half sister with the doubles she got at her baby shower, choosing to return them instead. She also revealed information about the pair's relationship and why she believes she made the right decision.
A mix-up with the registry led to multiple baby shower gifts.
The woman shared her story on Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable subforum, explaining that her husband's family and a few of her closest friends had "went all out" with the gift-giving. "We got everything on the registry," she wrote. But there was a mix-up with the registry and she received multiple duplicate gifts during the event.
A few days later, the woman's half sister, who attended the baby shower, asked if she would donate some of the duplicated items to her "since I didn't need them," the user wrote.
She explained her half sister was "farther along" in her pregnancy than she was and didn't receive nearly as many gifts as the original poster did. Still, the new mom said she told her half sister she had other plans for the duplicated items.
The woman reportedly had plans to return the items.
In the post, the she said she told her half sister she planned on "returning the items for anything else we may want or need for our baby in the future." While they were going back-on-forth on the issue, her mother-in-law ended up returning the items for her.
The woman ultimately faced backlash from several of her family members for refusing to give the items to her half sister. "Some of our family members now believe that I am being selfish since I have more than my half sister and already have everything we need for our baby," she explained.
She also revealed that her half-sister didn't have a baby shower because it wasn't part of their family tradition.
The half sister didn't grow up with the same resources as the woman.
The woman also said that her half sister "doesn’t have many family members with expendable income or as many friends." The family believes the woman should help her half sibling since she grew up with less resources than she did. She said their father wasn't really in her half sister's life growing up.
They also stated that she "should support her more and help her out." Meanwhile, the woman "feels like they’re guilting me and trying to make me make up for something that wasn’t my fault."
"I also don’t think it’s appropriate to give away gifts that were given to us by our friends and my husbands family. After all they were given with the expectation that they were for our child, not my sisters," she added.
Users shared their thoughts on the situation.
The woman said some family members have said she could have "held off on having them returned until this matter was settled," and suggested that she could have sold them to her half sister at a discount. But Mumsnet users had mixed opinions on the situation.
"The matter was settled," one user wrote. "You told them what was happening with YOUR items. They may not like your decision, but it was your decision to make. They are really unfair putting pressure on you to make up for someone else's failings."
"Those gifts were for you and more importantly, your baby," wrote another user. "Besides, she's your half sister, not your daughter, it is not for you to equalise your situation."
While some people agreed with the woman's decision, others had some sympathy for the half sister.
"I think you had a chance to do something nice for someone and chose the more selfish option," another user wrote.
Someone else commented: "I'd give her a few things. Sounds like she could use the help, whereas you have more than enough."
