The worldwide health crisis has put a damper on so many of our plans — and that's held true for six full months. For those of us who had to cancel any important celebratory events in this time, it's a bummer but we understand the need for being safe. One woman felt this as she had to celebrate her birthday in quarantine, but her husband was going to make it up to her when the time came, only that ended up being a disappointment, too.
A wife took to Reddit to share her frustration and ask some advice.
Posting to Reddit's AITA community, the woman started her post with some backstory for context.
"My husband and I have not had a date since last Christmas," she wrote. "Our last date was supposed to be in March but then had to cancel cuz the Covid lockdown started in our state which coincidentally was the day before my birthday but no biggie. I'm a big girl."
She explained that they've been careful with the global health crisis.
"We've honestly been trying to stay safe and he has not worked much so I've made my best effort to be a simple girl and have had a blast with just Netflix and chill all quarantine," she explained. "I've tried really hard to make things easier for him mentally by not stressing him out with unnecessary b–ching and always put on the brightest smile when he asks if I'm ok with staying home."
Sounds reasonable. None of us want to be in this situation, right?
We all can recognize the need for being careful, and OP said she was excited when the time came for her to have some romantic time with her husband. "This past Tuesday he found a nice remote trail and invited me out for a bike ride and a picnic on Saturday," she said.
Excited about the opportunity, she handled the rest of the arrangements that come with parents trying to get some alone time. "I made arrangements for our 3 kiddos and planned a whole night of free fun and adventures with him, I even packed the stupid fishing gear," she admitted.
Saturday came, time for their amazing overnight date.
"He leaves at 4 to drop off our girls at my mom's and son at his sisters," she said. "He said be ready by 7," so she was. Except her husband didn't come back home until later.
"10:30 he pulls up and cannot understand why I am so freaking upset!!!" she said. "He was at his sisters for 6 freaking hours and couldn't be bothered to text or call or anything!"
Yeah, not cool, husband!
"Today I took myself out for the bike ride and picnic I was promised and he thinks it was childish and petty and I ruined our weekend by being mad," OP said.
She then asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for being upset and going by herself.
"So AITA for being mad that I got stood up then took myself on a date," she asked, and they answered.
"NTA," one person replied. "Good for you still taking the date and doing it without him. He’s an a–hole for this, and then again for thinking you’re overreacting."
"Nope. NTA," another agreed. "You didn't ruin the weekend. He did. Sounds like you actually had a rather wonderful 2nd half of the weekend, so really only his weekend was ruined. BTW. Take yourself out on more dates and don't cover up your feelings to spare his feelings/manage his stress level," the Redditor advised. Adding, "Your feelings are just as valid. He's a big boy (or should be) and has to learn to manage his own stress. And if your feelings cause him stress that he can't deal with, you have bigger problems than Covid and a missed date."
"NTA. Sorry, you made a mistake: you don't have three children to be responsible for, you have 4," a Reddit user joked.
"NTA. He couldn’t even bother to call or text you?" questioned another. "Nope. He was inconsiderate and you had every right to be upset."
"NTA He has been taking you for granted," concluded one commenter. "It sounds like now is a great time to stop making so much effort for someone who has clearly shown you he doesn't think your feelings matter."
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