TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains information about stillbirth and infant loss, which may be triggering to some.
As exciting as pregnancy can be, it is also a very scary time for an expecting mom and her partner. There is so much to look forward to, but there are just as many unknowns. Millions of women experience miscarriages every year, whether it’s before they even knew they were pregnant or much further into gestation. No matter when a loss occurs, it is devastating.
But some women will say the further along an expectant mother is in her pregnancy, the more it stings. Rae, a NICU nurse who posts on TikTok as @raeannehly, is expecting her first child. Yes, she’s thrilled, but because of her profession, she’s also cautiously optimistic.
@raeannehly So much respect for those that have had to make this impossible decision ❤️🩹 #nicunurse #pregnant #laboranddelivery #prolife #prochoice ♬ original sound – Rae
Rae has used her platform to document her pregnancy, and prior to her 20-week scan, she posted a raw take on how she’d handle premature birth if her baby had just reached the viability stage.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, at 23 weeks of gestation, a baby could survive outside the womb. “If born prematurely, the fetus may survive after the 23rd week with intensive care. It will begin rapidly adding fat to its body,” the clinic’s website states.
As a NICU nurse, Rae knows this, but she also knows how much babies born prematurely can struggle, so she had a plan in mind.
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She explained in the video, “I think that if I had to deliver my baby at 22 or 23 weeks, I think that I would have to allow my baby to pass peacefully with me, and I think that I would choose comfort care over all those extensive measures.”
Many moms shared their experiences in the comments.
One mom-turned-nurse understood Rae’s thoughts and shared, “As a mom, I always said I would try everything. Then I became a nurse and I could never. I don’t mean to give hate to anyone who chose anything else.”
Another mom wrote, “Thank you so much for this post, I had an emergency c-section on 10/8/24 at 23wks 2 days. She developed many complications and we chose comfort care after 2 weeks instead of having her suffer.”
Another mother who has experienced the grief of losing a premature baby shared, “I had my baby at 23 weeks. He lived for 5 weeks. He just passed two weeks ago. I wish I didn’t have to see him in so much pain. It gives me comfort that he isn’t in pain anymore, but I miss him deeply.”
More from CafeMom: More Than 10 Newborn Babies Die in ‘Massive’ NICU Fire
Another follower thanked Rae for her honesty, writing, “Thank you for being honest, understanding and kind. People who aren’t medical professionals really never know the truth about these situations & no one really tells us about it either.”
Rae added that it is an “impossible” decision for a mother to make and one she won’t wish on her “worst enemy.” She also said it’s no one’s business to judge a mother’s decision.
Thankfully for Rae, her baby did not arrive early. She is currently in her third trimester and ready to meet her baby.
@raeannehly #pregnant #pregnancyjourney #thirdtrimester #32weekspregnant #nesting #babyshower #nursery #firsttimemom ♬ original sound – Rae
