Try as they might, even the most involved male partner can’t even begin to comprehend the mental, emotional, and physical toll giving birth takes on your body, mind, and spirt. But what they can do while this life-changing, life-altering feat is being performed is remain present and supportive.
Essentially, do whatever needs to be done so the birthing person can do what need to happen with as much peace as possible. But according to one nurse on TikTok, things don’t always pan out that way.
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Romi Joy has seen and heard some wild things while working as a nurse.
In a TikTok video, the labor and delivery/obstetrics nurse shared some of the more outlandish behavior she’s witnessed from baby daddies while their [former] or present partners were in the middle of labor.
Set to the up-tempo beat of Rosalía’s “Bizcochito,” these comments are anything but fun or funny. Joy titled the video "Things baby daddies have said to me while their wife was in labor.” And the ridiculousness of the comments has attracted more than 1 million views to the post.
She shared some of the audacious things she's heard men say while their partners were in labor.
These men said things like, “Y’all do paternity tests (after the baby came out).”
Another man told Joy, “Don’t give her an epidural.”
Another asked if he could hook up his gaming system in the hospital room. Another complained that the whole thing was “taking too long.”
And one man announced that he was leaving to go get some food for himself. Charming.
The epidural comment really shocked a lot of people.
Joy captioned the viral video, “Like no my patient her choice sorry dad.”
As you might imagine, her comments were exploding with people who were shocked and appalled by this behavior.
One person was particularly perplexed by the no epidural instruction. “‘Don’t let her get the epidural’ IM SORRY WHAT,” the person commented. Joy responded, “Happens more often than you think!!!”
Other users added their own examples of disturbing behavior from baby daddies.
Another user commented, “Literally GASPING at every statement. The audacity.”
Other people offered additional stomach-churning behavior they’d witnessed from men. “Or the ‘don’t forget to put an extra stitch in for me,” one user offered, referencing the sewing up of the perineum after an episiotomy.
There’s a name for this: “the husband stitch.” The mythical procedure is a medically unnecessary additional stitch meant to make the vaginal opening more narrow to contribute to a man’s sexual pleasure after a woman gives birth.
So selfish. So gross. Hopefully, the men who did or would make these types of comments see themselves in Joy’s video and do better.
