Dealing with in-laws can be a really difficult thing for some couples. When your in-laws disagree with you but your spouse agrees with them, it can put you in a terrible position that might just leave you feeling isolated and alone. It could even end up causing a serious rift in your relationship with your spouse.
One mom on Reddit recently opened up online about a huge fight her mother-in-law has caused over wanting to take her daughter on a cross-country vacation alone. However, there is way more to the story than just a simple vacation. Now her MIL is threatening them for "rights" to her granddaughter.
The mom shared that her daughter is just a week shy of her third birthday.
The Original Poster, or OP, gave a little background about the situation in her post to Reddit's AITA forum.
Unfortunately, her daughter's cancer has returned after they thought she was in remission earlier this year. The little girl was placed in hospice four weeks ago, and doctors have advised OP and her husband to do what they can to make their daughter as "comfortable as possible" because surgery to remove the tumor is not a good option.
Of course, the mom is incredibly heartbroken.
OP and her husband have been trying to make as many memories with their daughter as possible.
As any parent would do knowing their child was terminally ill, they have been trying to create new memories with her, but that plan has caused an issue.
The OP explained that she received a call from her mother-in-law stating that she had booked tickets, a hotel, and airfare for a trip next month.
The only catch was that the MIL only booked the trip for her, her husband, and her granddaughter — not her son or OP, the little girl's parents.
The mom was uncomfortable with sending her toddler on a weeklong trip across the country alone.
She shared that her daughter has never stayed overnight anywhere and that she also does not want her daughter to be without her in case something were to happen because of her illness. She wants her daughter to be close to her nurses and other caregivers at this time. She also reminded her mother-in-law that her daughter is still in hospice.
She tried to be reasonable with her MIL and said that they should all go as a family and maybe for a shorter time. She tried to come up with a different idea that might work for everyone, but her MIL turned down all her suggestions.
Her mother-in-law was enraged and called the OP a ton of names.
The OP explained to her MIL that she felt the fact that she had booked a vacation without consulting her and her husband was wrong, and she ended up saying "no" to the vacation idea.
Her MIL then called the OP several bad names and hung up. She called her son, telling him that she would "fight for rights" before their daughter died.
Now, the OP's husband is reconsidering the trip, saying maybe they should allow their daughter to go so his mother can make memories with their little girl. The OP feels torn and said she had more than one reason to say no to the trip.
Several people commented that the OP is 100% in the right to decline the trip.
One person said the consequences of the trip are more important than anything else.
"I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to my daughter while she was gone if I were in that situation," the person wrote. "OP your husband is being ridiculous by even suggesting that you just go along with this. This is YOUR child and no one should feel entitled to take her for that amount of time when she is already on hospice."
Some people suggested talking to the hospice doctors.
Hospice doctors would most likely not want one of their patients to be without doctors and nurses for care.
"There’s no way they would condone this trip, and would likely be glad to discuss it with your in-laws," one commenter wrote. "Hospice employees tend to be super focused on the patient’s well being, and supporting the immediate family through what is one of the most difficult times they will face."
Others commented with suggestions for how to make the most of the time they have left.
"Spend time with your daughter, go to build a bear and get one of the bears that lets you do a voice recording (keep it away from hubby and his family), suggested one commenter. "Take some of your daughters old clothes and have her help you make a quilt together. Don’t just make a memory, make something you will be able to anchor yourself with."
Some users said the Reddit user's husband was 'so wrong' for giving in to his mother.
After seeing many people drag down her husband for his inability to stand up for her and their daughter, the OP updated the forum in a comment saying that their daughter's illness was the "straw that broke the camel's back."
"I told him that I currently do not foresee myself staying married to him once my daughter is gone. Not after this. Not if he doesn’t stand up for his daughter, his wife, and our family," she wrote in the update. "He looked pretty shocked. But I’m pretty set on not having anything to do with his family and him included."
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