How young is too young to get married? For one mom, the answer appears to be 20. Previously, the mom assured her daughter that she would help her pay for her wedding someday. However, now that she feels her daughter is getting married too young and making a terrible mistake, she’s rethinking her offer. She doesn’t want to financially support a marriage that she thinks her daughter might regret one day.
Her 20-year-old daughter is engaged.
Based on her submission to Business Insider’s “For Love & Money” column, it sounds like the mom wasn’t expecting her daughter to get married at such a young age when she previously mentioned paying for the wedding. She explained that her daughter is now engaged to her “high school sweetheart” and they plan on tying the knot in 2026. The mom, however, thinks this is a bad idea.
Her skepticism is based on her own experience.
Because the mom got married at a young age, she doesn’t want the same for her daughter. She also married her high school sweetheart when she was young, and the marriage ultimately ended in divorce. Now that she’s had time to reflect, she realizes that their marriage failed because she and her ex-husband were “too young, immature, and inexperienced for it to have ever lasted.”
Having this experience makes it hard for her to be supportive of her daughter’s engagement.
She’s tried to explain this to her daughter.
However, her daughter has assumed that her mother simply doesn’t like the man she’s planning to marry. “I have tried sharing this story with my daughter, but all she seems to hear is that I hate her fiancĂ©,” the mom wrote. “I think he’s a nice enough guy, and it’s not him I take issue with. It’s how young they are.”
The mom no longer wants to pay for her daughter’s wedding.
Given that she doesn’t even want her daughter to get married, she certainly doesn’t want to pay for it. To her, getting married at age 20 feels like “a huge mistake,” and she doesn’t want to support her daughter in making that mistake. “I’ve promised to give her $10,000 to help pay for her wedding for years, but now that feels like a high price for what I truly believe will be the worst mistake of her life,” she explained.
The columnist shared advice with the concerned mother.
Business Insider’s columnist agreed that getting married at a young age could be a mistake â but ultimately, mistakes are part of life. Noting that “letting go” is the “hardest part of parenting,” the columnist reminded the mom that “this is [her daughter’s] life and her mistake to make.”
The columnist also encouraged the mom to pay for the wedding as promised in spite of her doubts about the marriage. “You’ve given her your best advice and told her what you would do if it were your life. Now show her that you will have her back regardless,” the columnist advised.
