I Can’t Believe My Fiancé’s Family Won’t Come to Our Wedding Because I Said No Jeans & Ball Caps

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For any bride, her wedding day is a huge deal. She wants to feel beautiful while enjoying the day with the love of her life. It’s the first day of a big chapter, and there is nothing wrong with wanting that day to be perfect. Of course, plenty of people try to inject their opinions into other people’s wedding plans, and it’s just not appropriate. Thankfully, there are plenty of online forums where brides can vent.

A bride-to-be went to Reddit’s Wedding Planning sub to see if she was off base about her wedding dress code. We aren’t talking black tie or formal wear. The bride made simple requests of her guests.

She asked women to wear “tea length, midi or full-length dresses or a dressy jumpsuit/set.” The bride added that she’d love to see spring colors or florals. She simply asked for no white, cream or ivory, because those colors are “reserved for the bride.”

HELP!!! FAMILY DECLINING BC OF DRESS ATTIRE
byu/Puzzleheaded_Gur3899 inweddingplanning

For the men, she requested, “We ask for No denim or ball caps.” The bride added that it was a perfect time to dress up. She suggested trousers and a dress shirt and maybe a floral tie for “bonus points.”

She also posted a “mood board” with suggested colors and prints.

The original poster didn’t think the requests were outrageous. But, she received texts from people declining the invitation because of the dress code.

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OP received a text from her fiancé’s mom that set her off. It read, “Ryan’s reason for not being able to attend and prob some others is the dress code. Just letting you know.”

If that wasn’t enough, her future mother-in-law added, “I have a few saying they don’t have proper dress attire and would never wear what they bought if they went.”

“I am kinda shocked- I knew our desired dress code wasn’t going to be popular since these people are western but didn’t think they would take it like this,” OP wrote. “I have been with my finance for 6 years (24 now) & we are fully funding this wedding ourselves. If I am putting 12,000+ into my wedding, I don’t want jeans. I have NO FAMILY here- & have sacrificed having it in our town to accommodate his family now they want to pull this BS?!?”

Many people totally agreed with OP.

One commenter wrote, “No ball caps nor jeans’ is pretty much the lowest, most minimal dress code I could possible imagine. I’ve never been out west, so maybe this is a cultural disconnect, but, I can’t imagine not owning 1 pair of slacks/chinos/khakis/*something* for funerals, weddings, date night, etc. or if I didn’t, I can’t imagine putting up such a fuss about buying a pair. they can shop online, clearance sales, $20.”

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This person offered another suggestion: “You might want to tell them ‘the vibes are what you’d wear to church on Easter’ and let them figure it out. It sounds like they are deliberately misinterpreting you. Just tell them that you don’t appreciate them threatening not to come when you could have had the wedding wherever you wanted.”

But one Redditor understood the frustration and offered help: “So in the nicest way possible, the words are mostly okay, but the moment I saw the mood board I instantly knew I didn’t have anything that would match and felt an internal groan. I think you should focus solely on the fact that you want cocktail attire rather than specific colors because your message is getting muddled. Based on other comments, I think describing what you want as ‘Easter Best’ might get the point across without seeming too restrictive!”