What would you do if you found your husband’s nudes with another woman? One woman is wondering just that. She has been married for a long time, and wouldn’t have expected to find such a thing. And the fact that her husband kept them is obviously a cause for concern, so she confronted him.
How is she supposed to move past such a betrayal? Especially when her husband doesn’t seem to be particularly remorseful about the cheating or the nudes. Some people said she should leave, but is that really her only option?
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The woman was at a loss for what to do.
The woman wrote into the “Dear Abby” column of the New York Post to ask for advice. She explained that she and her husband have been married for 52 years.
“While looking for a tax document, I found a manila envelope that had a note written on the outside. It said, ‘If something happens to me, please destroy this, because I don’t want to hurt anyone.’ I opened the envelope and found nude pictures of my husband and another woman taken 30 years ago,” she wrote.
Her husband’s reaction was not what she expected.
“When I confronted my husband, he said it happened a long time ago and it’s my fault for opening the envelope. I never received an apology, and I no longer want to be intimate with him,” she explained. She asked for advice to “get past” his betrayal.
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Dear Abby had reasonable advice.
The advice columnist empathized, saying that her husband’s inability to apologize about the nudes “only adds insult to injury.” She followed that up, calling the man “a fool.”
“He left a ‘time bomb’ and didn’t have enough common sense to consider what would happen if, after his death, you or your children sifted through his souvenirs,” she continued. Dear Abby then suggested that the woman seek therapy. “If your husband refuses to go with you, go alone — or pray for amnesia,” she concluded.
People chimed in with their own advice.
“That your husband has kept those pictures all these years and that he made no apology should tell you volumes,” one commenter wrote. “This is far past counseling and into attorney territory. How can you be sure this hasn’t been happening for years? Those pictures are trophies of a time in his life where, while married to you, he enjoyed a fling he found important enough to relive every time he looks at them. How do you know there aren’t other envelopes? Blaming you for ‘finding’ the envelope is his way of absolving him of any responsibility for messing around. Find a good lawyer and call it a day. He’s done it more than once and may still be.”
The commenter added: “The fact that your husband left those photos and didn’t destroy them means that first of all, he was still ‘using’ them, and secondly, that he wanted you to see them and be hurt.”
“Your dimwit husband wanted the photos found & you won’t get an apology because he’s not sorry,” another person added. “Keep the photos, they can be destroyed after the legal proceedings.”
“If he won’t even offer a heartfelt apology and blames you instead for opening that envelope and he still doesn’t change, then it’s time for you to consider being single again!” someone else suggested.
