Sleepovers are a hot topic among parents. Some don't allow them, and others have strict rules about where their children can sleep or who is welcome to spend the night at their home. Whether they are at a family member's home or a friend's, we can all agree that we want our children to be cared for and loved, no matter where they are.
A mom hosted a sleepover for her daughter and a few friends and thought everyone was on the same page ahead of time. She started a group chat, and no one seemed concerned about the plans, but once the evening was over, one mom fired off a nasty chain of messages condemning the mom's behavior. She posted a recap in Reddit's AITA forum, and it's a wild ride.
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The moms all appeared to agree with the plans for the evening.
The original poster, 41, started a group chat, as one does these days, to cover all the bases and to have written receipts. She thought everything was OK, but apparently, it wasn't.
OP wrote that the problem started with swimming. Her daughter is 15, and her friends are all around her age. They've taken swimming classes at school, and OP's husband is trained in CPR. This didn't seem to be an issue before the party.
"All of them said 'yes' or 'that's OK with me' except for the complaining mom, who simply liked my text. I assumed this meant yes," she wrote.
It wasn't just swimming that upset the other mom.
The mom also complained about food, what the girls watched on TV, and what time they went to bed. This mom seemed pretty relentless with her complaints, and the OP thought it was a bit ridiculous. She texted her back exactly what she thought.
"Please tell your daughter thanks for coming! She was a pleasure to host. I understand your concerns, but considering that you never communicated your expectations or rules, I don't think it's fair to place the blame on me. If we ever do things like this in the future, please make sure to let me know of any restrictions ahead of time. Thank you and have a lovely weekend!" she wrote to the other mom.
So who's the jerk?
These are teenagers, not toddlers.
Redditors quickly pointed out that OP was hosting high school students, not little kids, and that this mom was being a bit over the top.
"NTA. You have nothing to apologize for. It sounds like that mom just wanted to complain. I feel bad for her daughter more than anything because she is (if she's not already) likely to be excluded from parties, and even friendgroups, as she gets older," someone wrote. "Her mom sounds extremely controlling, and probably picked the sleepover apart as the daughter either excitedly told her everything she and the other girls did, or was forced to 'tattle' about all of the 'bad' things she was allowed to do."
This person agreed and commented, "You did nothing wrong. And even if she had listed those rules, the end result should have been 'I am sorry, we cannot accommodate your rules' instead of abiding by them."
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Plenty of people felt sorry for the woman's daughter.
Sadly, the mom's behavior seemed way too strict. Reddit users were worried the girl would lose friends over her mom.
Someone wrote, "I feel sorry for this girl, her mother might ruin her friendships. Who expects to sleep early and eat a healthy meal for a sleepover? It's like serving salad at birthdays and asking the kids to do their homework."
"NTA. This lady doesn't seem to have any idea how sleepovers actually work, which I mean… fair, I guess? But you did lay out your plan and she didn't ask for more info or what her expectations would with concern to her daughter," another person commented. "She couldn't have expected you to have the same exact rules for your daughter as she does for hers, especially at a sleepover. I feel sorry for you daughter's friend."
This person made an excellent point: It was too little too late. "Your answer was very well written, the mother should have shared her concerns with you before the sleepover."
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