Sibling relationships can be difficult to navigate, and it doesn't necessarily get easier when they're all grown up. When siblings have kids of their own, a new level of contention can come with it. But what happens when a grown adult expects that their sister's kids will watch her toddler at family gatherings?
That's exactly what one Reddit user is facing after a huge blowup at a recent family event. The original poster is livid that her sister assumed (and then demanded) that her kids babysit her toddler whenever she walks out of the room. And after the Redditor's older daughter stuck up for herself when the unsupervised toddler made a huge mess, the sister demanded an apology.
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The Reddit user complained that her sister 'never' watched her own kids at family events.
"Whenever my sister Lynn goes to any family event, she never watches her own kids and expects everyone else to, including my own children, who have complained about it," the OP began her late August Reddit thread. "She will leave the room with her toddler, that acts like a wild animal."
Recently, the toddler made a huge mess while unsupervised, and the sister yelled at the OP's kids.
The OP instructed her own kids not to be "duped" into watching "that brat." During a recent gathering, however, the Reddit user's 13-year-old daughter, "left the room when my sister left her alone with her kid to gossip with my mom." That's when the toddler made a huge mess.
"Lynn’s toddler pulled all the food off by the tablecloth and spilled red pasta sauce all over my mom’s carpet," she explained. "The kid was screaming, and Lynn started to yell at my daughter when I told Lynn it was her responsibility to watch her own f—ing kids."
OP's daughter stood her ground.
Lynn reportedly claimed she thought OP's daughter was watching the toddler.
"I asked her, 'Did you ask my daughter to?' Lynn said she thought my daughter was smart enough to watch kids if they were alone with them," the OP detailed. "My daughter said maybe Lynn should be smarter next time she thinks of having kids that she can’t control or watch."
The OP acknowledged her daughter's response was "rude," but laughed in the moment.
"My mom told my daughter to help pick up the mess because she helped cause it," she added. "My daughter refused, saying it was Lynn’s fault because she let her kids run around like animals."
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Now, the Reddit user refuses to make her daughter apologize.
The grandmother made everyone leave because they "had no respect for her or her house." Meanwhile, OP's daughter declared she "wouldn't be back until her grandmother and aunt respected her."
In the aftermath of the blowup, OP's mom thinks she should punish her daughter or make her apologize.
"But I won’t," the Reddit user insisted. "I don’t think my daughter did anything wrong, and it’s Lynn’s fault for not watching her own brats."
In the comments, Reddit users resoundingly agreed: She is NTA.
So, is the OP at fault? Fellow Reddit users unanimously agreed that she is NTA.
One user wrote: "Lynn should hire a babysitter if she can't keep track of her kids. Good on you for supporting your kids in this situation, I can see how in many families the responsibility could be rolled onto the shoulders of the older kids and force them to babysit just by default – which honestly isn't right. Parents need to be responsible for their own kids."
Another person commented: "Your sister is assuming people just look after their kids and she shouldn't. If she had asked? Other story (but even then your daughter should always be allowed to say no and sister has to accept that). Good for you for standing up for your daughter here."
Meanwhile, yet another Redditor echoed: "NTA and thank you for breaking that tradition of adults expecting free child care from older children in the family. You did right by your kids and actually acted like a decent parent. Your sister, however needs to step up and take care of her own child and not just expect other CHILDREN to pick up her slack."
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