My Sister Had a Pregnancy Loss & Now Won’t Talk to Me After Finding Out I’m Pregnant

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When someone close to us suffers from a pregnancy loss, we want to do our best to support them. Everyone grieves differently, so respecting them and their process is important. For a lot of women, being around other pregnant women after a miscarriage is hard, and they like to avoid those situations for a while. It is totally natural and understandable.

But what do you do if someone really close wants you to help them deal with their miscarriage and you are actually newly pregnant yourself and haven't told anyone yet? It is definitely not an enviable place to be in. A woman named Kayla posted in Reddit's AITA Forum because she is dealing with a similar situation with her sister, Lia, who just lost a baby. Lia and Kayla got together, and when Lia saw Kayla wasn't drinking, the whole thing imploded. Now the sisters aren't speaking, and Kayla feels like a jerk.

Kayla planned to keep her pregnancy a secret for a while.

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Kayla, 22, knew she was pregnant when Lia, 25, unexpectedly lost her baby. She had been keeping it a secret, but when her sister lost her baby, she knew it was going to be a big deal. She didn't want to take away from her sister's pain and upstage her with joy. It was working out fine until her family planned a party to provide support to Lia.

"The night was going fine, and my sister really seemed to be smiling and enjoying herself," Kyla wrote. "I was staying away from the beer and vodka, kinda shutting down the strange looks from my family/friends, who know I almost never turn down the opportunity to drink. Most were believing my lies except my sisters friend, Ash, who came up to me and asked 'Are you pregnant or something? Why aren't you drinking?'"

She explained that she had just blown it off, but Lia knew something was up.

The suspicious sister threw down the gauntlet.

Lia wanted to know the truth, so she put a shot in front of Kayla and told her to drink, knowing that if she was pregnant, she would decline. Lia was pretty intoxicated and laid into her sister when she refused the shot.

"She started accusing me of coming to her apartment to 'boast about my pregnancy' and how I always got what I wanted. She also said that shouldn't have come to the party knowing that I couldn't drink and that I obviously knew that people were going to know I was pregnant. Basically going on about how I was attention seeking," Kayla explained.

Kayla and her boyfriend left, and now Lia won't speak to her. She also claimed her mom said she was wrong for showing up to Lia's party knowing she was pregnant and that it would hurt her sister. So, is she an a–hole?

Some Redditors thought Kayla could have made up a story.

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If she didn't want anyone to know about the baby, Redditors had ideas of other excuses unrelated to pregnancy.

Someone suggested, "If anyone pushes, say 'OMG, I have a really bad UTI, is that what you wanted to hear????' It also mixes well with the pregnancy going to the bathroom a lot. A UTI is a good excuse because you sell the "I'm" suffering and want it to stop' because with some meds people will still push you to drink."

Others thought she could have thrown out the booze.

"Dump the alcohol out in the bathroom and add water. Some people may notice an empty can cup because it is carried differently subconsciously (see bad acting where it's obvious there's nothing in their to-go coffee cup)," one person suggested.

Some people believed she could have just claimed to be the designated driver to get Lia off her back. But now it's too late. The damage is already done.

But more people thought Lia was in the wrong.

Even though Lia may not have realized it, she ruined a big moment for Kayla, too.

"Her sister also stole her announcement from her and riddled it with drama and upset which was wrong," someone wrote. "Given how young they are it's likely her first and that's never going to be given back. I'd be really hurt if I were OP. She didn't get pregnant on purpose to hurt her."

People think the family would have made Kayla the villain either way.

"Your family would probably have been angry with you for declining to go to your sister's consolation party, and would have pushed you into revealing your pregnancy anyway, or be reviled for not caring about your sister," another person commented. "You could not win, here, because for some reason nobody is allowed to be pregnant when your sister has miscarried. This is unreasonable."

Someone else agreed, commenting, "100%, it would have been worse to not go than risk people finding out."

Kayla, we know you were just trying to be a good sister.

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No one thought Kayla did anything to hurt her sister intentionally. Redditors honestly believed she would be criticized no matter what she did. But they do hope that Lia will eventually come around and help her sister enjoy her pregnancy and have a lot of love saved up for the new baby.