One of My Twin Daughters Is Overweight so I Put Both of Them on a Diet

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Hallmark advice for parenting multiple children is not to compare them. It can cause rifts and resentment between the siblings when they’re young, and when they’re older, they’ll recognize it as bad parenting. Most people know this. Still, it’s easier said than done. That's even more true when the two children are identical twins.

This was the case with one mother who noticed a significant weight difference between her teenage daughters. She asked the people of the internet if the way she handled that difference makes her an a–hole.

A mother said a weight discrepancy exists between her identical twin daughters.

On Reddit, a mother of 14-year-old twin girls Megan and Alana shared that although both girls are 5 feet tall, Alana weighs 95 pounds and Megan weighs 150. The two girls were the same height and weight until they were 7 years old.

By the time they were 11, Megan was classified as medically overweight.

“I went to a doctor for advice, and he said that I shouldn’t worry too much since a lot of kids gain weight right before puberty, and then ‘balance out’ after their growth spurt,” the mom explained. The girls did have their growth spurt, but afterward, Megan continued to gain weight – so much so that she was eventually considered obese.

The OP made changes for the whole family.

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In order to address the issue but not make Megan feel bad about her body, the OP decided to implement a healthy diet for the entire family. “I slowly started to cut back on sugar, junk food, and unhealthy snacks,” the OP wrote.

“I cook them high volume, low calorie meals full of vegetables and protein so that they still feel full after eating. Neither of the twins are very athletic, so I’ve also tried encouraging them to engage in physical activities, like swimming, bike riding, trampolining, etc,” she explained.

The thinner twin started complaining.

Even though this mom has tried to encourage her family to stay healthy rather than lose weight, Alana guessed that the real reason for all of these diet changes was in response to Megan’s weight gain.

“She started complaining that it’s not fair that she also has to diet because her sister’s fat,” the OP wrote.

The mom didn’t want Megan to feel called out with all of these changes or like she’s being punished while everyone else gets to eat what they want. She asked the Reddit community if she was wrong.

Reddit users agreed that this mom was dead wrong.

People online agreed almost unanimously that she was indeed an a–hole.

“You have almost committed to this idea, that health is valuable for everyone and isn’t a punishment, but then you don’t seem to really believe it,” one commenter noted. “This 'we’re pretending to do this so that my fat kid doesn’t figure out that we secretly just want a skinny kid' thing you pull at the end … I think you need to figure out your own relationship with health a little before trying to do a family overhaul."

"YTA you’re putting Alana on a diet because you don’t want to have a conversation with your other daughter about her unhealthy weight," someone else wrote. "Alana is not her sisters keeper, you need to step up and do better as the parent."

Some thought she may have missed a more serious issue.

“The divergence in their weights at such a young age indicates something else is wrong,” another person wrote. “And they both need checked by a pediatric endocrinologist and probably other specialists.”

Others noted that the OP’s approach to her daughter's weight gain could cause different types of health issues in the future.

“I hope it’s not the case, but I wouldn’t be surprised if one or both of them develop an [eating disorder], or at the very least, a bad relationship with food,” one person shared. “And the fact that you do view it as punishment is a telling sign you should not be doing what you are doing."