Getting ready for the vice presidential debates last week, for me, was like getting ready to see my favorite fighter on the biggest stage in the land. I made sure that I had my glass of wine and a good snack ready to hear every word. I’ll admit right here that I’m not only a Black woman, but a politics nerd, having majored in government and politics in college. I’ve seen Senator Kamala Harris question many witnesses as a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee with brilliance and passion. It’s that passion that often gets misinterpreted as “anger” by those who are not of color. It’s something that Black women have been forever burdened with – if we’re passionate about something and speak in earnest, we’re labeled as an “angry Black woman.” I’ve been labeled this way and it’s incredibly demoralizing, dismissive, and to be honest, lazy.
What Senator Harris delivered left every Black woman in the land (and still now) in awe of the sheer brilliance of this incredibly talented woman.
So many do not understand the mental hurdles she had to go through to appear softer, less argumentative and “likeable” to the American people. The restraint she showed as VP Mike Pence delivered lie after lie and continued to interrupt her 43 times was mental gymnastics on an Olympic level. To appear intelligent yet not smug, strong yet not overbearing, showcase her nurturing side yet prove she deserves the job of being second in command of the nation, was every Black woman in a meeting, job interview, presenting to her boss, dealing with her coworkers – all while trying not to be labeled an angry Black woman.
When Senator Harris said “Mr. Vice President, I’m speaking. I’m speaking,” well, it basically became our new anthem.
Not only did this simple phrase call out the fact that he was interrupting and speaking over her, but she stood her ground and wouldn’t continue until he stopped talking. She was making him show her respect. This was a watershed moment for women as a whole but for Black women in particular, because we’ve never had that kind of permission to stand up like this collectively.
“I’m speaking” made me think of 2 specific moments in my career.
As a Black woman in the corporate world, I’ve had to navigate many different rooms. I’m almost always the only Black face in any room. For half my 20+ year career, I worked in advertising agencies’ buying & planning departments, which were predominately made up of white women. Even with all the “girl power” around, I still had to navigate how to not come off as “angry” even if my womanhood was embraced. If I showed my displeasure with something or someone, I was being mean. If I didn’t become fast friends with someone who I knew to be lazy or problematic, then I was being standoffish. Moving into advertising sales, it was more male dominated. I worked at a start-up company as employee #22 and their second sales hire – the first was my boss, a Latino man. This was an incredible gift, because he taught me everything about sales and I was afforded many freedoms by him and the higher-ups once I proved myself and started closing really big clients and large accounts.
When our CEO and CFO wanted to set up a meeting with the head of one of my agencies (one of the largest in the industry), I assumed I would be in that meeting. I had been working on methodically closing accounts at this agency for over a year and had been killing it – with accolades from all of them. When my boss told me I wouldn’t be in the meeting, I wasn’t devastated, I was angry. And I fought hard. This was my agency, how could I not be in the meeting? I’d been working all this time, making a lot of money for my company. Was it because I’m a woman, because I’m Black? Every insecurity and slight I’d ever experienced over the course of my career came up. I was told it was because of titles. “Well, then promote me”, I thought, to myself. I told them I didn’t need to run the meeting, just let me come along. I played soft, angry, indignant, and appealed to the sheer amount of money I’d brought into the company – all tactics that had worked for me in the past. But to no avail. Ultimately, however, the meeting never happened – which was retribution from my ancestors, I’m convinced.
In my last corporate position, I was the only Black person in my entire company, except for the receptionist.
For the first two years, I had an incredible boss who knew my strengths and let me run my show, with little interference from the owner of the company who was a megalomaniacal misogynist. After my boss resigned, he was replaced by a “yes man” who couldn’t keep the owner in check. During a sales meeting, when the owner dictated an entire list of lies to feed our clients, while I didn’t actually say a word, my face betrayed everything I felt. Much like Senator Harris’ during the debate.
While she’d kept her words neutral, her face highlighted all of the unsaid things Black women need to keep buried inside, for fear of the backlash. Sen. Harris was obliterated in the right-wing press the next day and called a “monster” by the President. For me, I was ultimately fired from that job. We need to swallow injustice, misogyny, being silenced by someone not as intelligent or qualified and so many other things, all while not having an ally in sight. So, we stand up for our damn selves and now we can all say “I’m speaking” while demanding to be heard and respected.
As the mom of a strong, intelligent, very outspoken, “firecracker” of a daughter, I’m hoping that when she begins her career she won’t have to jump through all these hurdles in order to simply be heard.
It doesn't erase all of the hurdles Black women in particular face, but watching Senator Harris stand firm like that is life affirming.
It's through moments like that the needle begins to move. Pulling on the strength of our ancestors will allow her to keep her spine straight and strong enough to fight misogyny and racism. Much like how my mother always taught me that I would have to work twice as hard as a white man, because I’ve got “2 strikes” against me as a Black person and a woman. Truthfully, this makes hard work easy for me. Watching me create my own company and learning to choose her mental battles will make her think hard work is easy and will make her an incredible leader. One thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, the roads paved by all the incredible Black women that came before her, Senator Harris included, will make her go even farther than we have.
