It’s a place most people never expect to set foot in, a place where the sickest babies are given a fighting chance at life. The neonatal intensive care unit isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a place where parents have to rely on others to care for their newborn, a place filled with emotional highs and lows. The NICU is a place I remember vividly. It’s where my family called home for nearly four months. And no matter how many years pass by, a simple smell of hand sanitizer or soap can bring me back to those early days.
Here are 10 things I wish I would have known when I became a NICU mom.
It’s often one step forward, two steps back.
The NICU is unpredictable. One day your child is making huge strides, but the next day that optimism is met with uncertainty. Even though the setbacks stand out, the good days far outweigh the bad.
Read to your baby, sing and talk to them.
The voice is a powerful thing, offering comfort to your little one while connecting you to your baby as you learn to parent from afar.
Trust your gut.
And advocate for your child (and stay away from Google!). Be as doctors do rounds, ask questions and understand the medical terms. And remember, the doctors are doing everything they can to help your baby.
Celebrate the milestones.
The smallest wins may mean the most. Take photos and videos, hold onto the NICU keepsakes, because one day, you’ll want to look back at how far your child has come.
Every baby is different.
Don’t compare. It doesn’t matter whether you spend one day or 100 days in the NICU, every baby has a different experience.
Take care of yourself.
As much as you’d like to stay at your baby’s bedside 24 hours a day, you need to find time for yourself. You need sleep. You need to eat. And you need to allow yourself some moments of peace.
Get hands-on.
It’s hard to feel like a parent as you watch the nurses care for your baby. Ask to change diapers, take part in bath time, and don’t be afraid of how fragile your baby may be.
It’s OK to be sad.
It's OK to grieve what could have been. The NICU journey is an emotional roller coaster, proving that you’re stronger than ever thought possible. But it’s OK to let your guard down. It’s OK to be sad that you’re missing out on what normal newborn life is like.
Find support.
Join a Facebook group for NICU parents or strike up a conversation with a mother checking in on her own baby. Finding others who can relate to your experience makes you feel less alone.
And most importantly: You will survive.
Someday your journey will be a blip in the road map of life. Each day in the NICU may feel like an eternity, but once your baby graduates, the years begin to fly by.
