From before the time I met my husband, I knew I was not the kind of person that would bear children. I knew it in my soul, like I knew how to breathe.
The weight of that didn’t hit me until a man showed up that wanted me for a wife. Being a pastor’s daughter with a Christian background meant marrying a nice man and bearing enough children to fill out the pew on Sunday morning, but God’s plan for me was different.
If there is one thing I’ve learned, it is that most people don’t like different.
My husband still chose me and chose to bear the labels placed on him as the husband of a "different woman." He never looked back on a "normal" life. Shortly after our marriage, we began to volunteer at our church as youth pastors.
Suddenly, our pew on Sunday morning was full of children, and it felt right.
*Hearnes Adventure Photography *
We worked with students in a low-income area, most of which had sub-par parental figures. They were hurting and lost. After three years of marriage, we decided that Sundays and Wednesdays weren’t enough. We had to be all in.
Slowly, we started introducing the idea of fostering and adopting. It didn’t go well.
We were met by many people who wanted to offer their advice on how we should start a family at the tender ages of 24 and 26.
“You need to have your ‘own’ children first.”
We fought against all odds to become family
We took custody of him less than three months after he moved in, to allow CPS to step out and offer him more stability, but that meant he couldn’t be adopted.
So many times, he would beg for us to keep him, and so many times he tried to push us away to protect his heart.
Casey Douglas
One day, we got home and he burst into tears and asked me to make a promise he was sure was selfish. He said, “Mom, can I stay even after I’m 18, and will you promise to tuck me in even if it’s awkward?” That was the easiest promise I could ever make to my son.
He would always be ours.
Casey Douglas
On January 10th, 2019, after nearly two years of waiting, he officially became ours. He took our name, and for the first time, has a mom and a dad of his very own.
Tara Smith Photography
As much as I hated the wait, I love that we were able to adopt him as an “adult.”
Tara Smith Photography
Tara Smith Photography
Parenthood came to us in a really unconventional way, but it has been more than I could have ever hoped for.
Katelyn Elise Moses
In two years, Randall has come so far and continues to grow every day. The boy whose dream was to smoke pot and get by on his own is now a new person.
Katelyn Elise Moses
He will tell you, “I never dreamed of things like going to college or having a family, but now I have support and I am living a life I never even thought I could have.”
Katelyn Elise Moses
We maintain relationships with several members of Randall’s birth family that we consider family ourselves.
We continue to foster and adopt teenagers, and hope to finalize two more adoptions before the year is over.
We live by the motto of, “It’s not about our family needing more kids, it’s about more kids needing our family.”
Katelyn Elise Moses
So, when people ask how many kids we plan to have, the answer is, “We never planned for any.”
*This post was written by Casey Douglas of Fantastic Teens And Where To Find Them-The Douglas Family Adoption Story and first appeared on Love What Matters. It was originally reprinted with permission on Mom.com sister site Cafe Mom.
*
