Today more than ever, society is fatphobic. We are inundated with imagery and rhetoric that encourages us to indulge in unhealthy and often unsafe eating habits in the hopes of being thin and shapely. In the midst of all that pressure, the term "almond mom" has been trending heavily on social media thanks to old footage of Real Housewives alum Yolanda Hadid recommending a teeny tiny nutty snack to her then-teenage daughter Gigi Hadid, who is now a supermodel.
The clips have caused much controversy, with Yolanda and experts disagreeing about how sound the mother's advice to her daughter was. Many women are coming forward with their own #almondmom stories, and the things they're sharing are, frankly, scary.
Yolanda claims it was innocent.
The term almond mom stems from a 2014 Real Housewives of Beverly Hills clip in which Yolanda is talking to then-teenage Gigi. The young girl is complaining of not feeling well.
"I'm feeling really weak. I had, like, half an almond," Gigi complains to her mother. Yolanda responds, "Have a couple of almonds and chew them really well."
In a recent interview with People, Yolanda had defended her advice to her daughter, claiming that she was "half asleep" during surgery recovery.
She recently posted a video of herself on TikTok doing various things with a large bowl of almonds. Some say she is just poking fun at herself, whereas others are taking it more seriously.
Some experts don't find Yolanda funny.
Despite her attempt at being silly, the joke is falling flat with some. Pediatrician and child obesity expert Dr. Karla Lester told Today Parents that it wasn't just Yolanda's almond joke that was problematic.
Lester also takes issue with Yolanda shaming Gigi for wanting to indulge on her birthday and claiming that models — like her daughters — need to be on the skinny side.
What is an almond mom?
Lester explained that an almond mom is someone who is obsessed with diet culture and wants others to share her feelings.
"The almond mom phenomenon is rooted in fat phobia and internalized bias," Lester told Today Parents. "She projects her own fears onto her children and in doing so, teaches them that she doesn't accept them unless they're at a weight that may be unattainable."
Sadly, this type of thinking isn't new, and it plagues women. TikTok is filled with similar stories from women who grew up with their own almond moms.
There are so many almond mom stories on TikTok.
Type "almond mom" into the search bar on TikTok, and thousands of videos pop up of women lamenting about being raised by a mom like that and how it has affected their lives.
TikToker @kimfromnc talks about her childhood and her strange relationship with food. "I don't remember a time when I wasn't aware of the value of different foods," she posted.
TikToker @baileeyy_nicole and friends mock their mothers' toxic behaviors, chanting, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." The video cuts to an adult woman who says, "Get your mind focused on I wanna eat. Wait a minute, that won't be as good as what I'll feel like if I'm skinny. How motivating is that?"
Ans @lexi.kasamis tags her TikTok "We have food at home" and then pans to an empty fridge and pantry.
The videos are both eye-opening and heartbreaking.
Plenty of ways exist to keep your children healthy without being an almond mom.
Children can develop healthy eating habits that do not focus on restriction. Dr. Deborah Gilboa told Today that there are lots of things for parents to focus on to keep their children healthy. She offered a few tips:
- Be sure to eat breakfast every morning.
- Do not eat out more than one time a week.
- Get moving for at least 60 minutes per day.
- Do not spend more than two hours on a screen for recreation per day.
- Drink only 6 ounces of sweetened drinks each day.
"As a parent, you want to help your child understand their body as one of their coolest, most interesting tools that they have for moving through the world," she told Today. "It allows them to do the things they enjoy doing like dancing and running. And in order for it to work best, it needs a balance of different fuels, including fruits and vegetables."
Gilboa wants parents to understand that despite what they may believe, physical appearance has nothing to do with who we are on the inside.
"There's this belief that our body shape is a reflection of our character, of our strength of will and our motivation to be healthy," Gilboa said. "A lot of parents are taking that idea one step further and feel that their kids' body shape is a referendum on their parenting.
"None of it is true."
*Disclaimer: The advice on CafeMom.com is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.
