Divorce is a difficult time in most people’s lives. When your marriage ends, you’re in a period of change and transition, and everyone handles that differently. But just because one person is feeling those changes, does it give them the right to flirt with someone else’s spouse? One woman is currently trying to figure this out.
Her recently separated next-door neighbor seems to be paying her husband a little too much attention. And naturally, the woman is suspicious about what her neighbor’s end game is. Could she just be lonely and harmless, or is there a reason to worry?
The woman explained that the couple who lived next door recently broke up and the husband moved out.
Despite “rarely” speaking to the woman and her husband before the break-up, the woman next door is now “always” chatting with the woman’s husband, she explained in her post on the Mumsnet forum.
“I can be stood next to him and she doesn’t look at me and aims any conversation towards him. She also refers to him by his name but doesn’t ever say mine,” the OP wrote.
For the woman, that alone wouldn’t be cause for concern, but the next-door neighbor has also been exhibiting other questionable behavior toward the woman’s husband. After he had come home from the gym, the neighbor asked if he would be her personal trainer. According to the OP, her husband isn’t in such good shape that it could be a serious request.
“DH politely replied and she said she hasn’t had any workouts since becoming single and added ‘if you know what I mean’ with a laugh — fairly obvious what she was insinuating,” the woman wrote.
That wasn’t the only concerning behavior.
While the OP was away for the day, her husband was “pottering in the garden” when the neighbor asked him to come over and help her move something heavy in her own garden. “When DH went round she was wearing a bikini and in his words had clearly not been doing any gardening,” the woman said. And once the neighbor learned she wasn’t home, she invited her husband over for a drink. He declined, going back home.
The woman says she trusts her husband, but is wary of the “intentions” her next-door neighbor has. However, her husband thinks she’s being “silly” for worrying.
Commenters were quick to confirm her suspicions.
“It’s pretty obvious what her intentions are, I don’t know why your DH is claiming to be so naive,” one person wrote. “I’d be feeling sorry for the poor cow, embarrassing herself. She’ll give up when she realises she’s making an a— of herself.”
Another commenter assured the woman that she wasn’t being unreasonable. “There’s a clear pattern here: ignoring you, flirting with your DH, conveniently appearing in a bikini to move one pot?” they wrote. “That’s not gardening, it’s a rom-com audition. You’re right to trust your husband, but it’s also fair to feel uncomfortable when someone is disrespecting your presence in your own space. You don’t need drama, but you also don’t need to play dumb to her not-so-subtle games.”
Another person had a suggestion: “I would pop round, politely ask her how she’s doing and then I would say actually there was a reason I popped round and it’s because whilst DH wouldn’t dream of saying this to your face, especially given that you must be feeling very vulnerable at the moment etc etc, but your advances are really starting to make him feel very uncomfortable and being the good guy that he is he didn’t want you getting the wrong idea, so he has asked me to pop round and have a chat. Then wish her well with a meaningful look and leave.”
