Unfortunately, a lot of moms have heard something along the lines of “just make me a list” when asking their husbands to take care of something in their own home or involving their own children. One mom recently took to Reddit to complain about her unemployed husband who had “nothing to do” yet evidently couldn’t manage to get their kid ready for school without her assistance.
Although his to-do list was totally free of any responsibilities, he asked his wife — who, of course, already had other things going on — to pick out their child’s clothes.
The mom explained that her husband isn’t working right now.
He’s “off & on unemployed” and does “contract” work, so “he’s worked a total of 72 days in 2025.” The mom, who is a stay-at-home parent, explained that because her husband’s work situation is so unpredictable, she can’t work part-time outside of the home. “We have 2 kids still at home that require a parent to be home/ available at all times,” she explained, adding that her husband’s work sometimes requires traveling.
At the moment, though, he’s totally available, but that doesn’t mean he’s showing up as a parent.
On most days, he sleeps in while his wife takes their kids to school.
You would think that the dad would offer to take the kids to school at least every so often, but it seems like this hasn’t happened. According to his wife, he “sleeps in every day and doesn’t even attempt to get up with me or the kids to help get them off to school.” One of their kids is 7 years old and one is 16. Both need rides to school, as their teen doesn’t have a driver’s license.
One day, the mom had to take the teen to an appointment.
Given that she can’t be in two places at once and her husband was available, she asked him to take their 7-year-old to school. Seems like a pretty simple request, right? But her husband only agreed to do it under one condition, and surprise, surprise — it required Mom to do more work.
The mom sent a text to her husband that read, “Important: requires reply I have to leave for Dr. Smith’s around 7am tomorrow (Weds). Can you wake up without me calling and get Jack to school ON TIME? If not, I’ll ask a neighbor. Let me know. Thanks.”
The dad sort of, maybe said yes, but acted like it would be super challenging for him to take his own child to school that one time. “I can If you could please put a pair of underwear and a set of clothes out that match, fit him and which he’ll wear at the foot of the bed so I can find them,” he wrote back. Oof.
Then, he went on to complain that their child will insist on wearing Crocs to school and will claim that Mom allows him to do so. “Lunch (and getting dressed for school) seem to be of utter disinterest to Jack, as exemplified by both passive and active resistance,” he continued.
But the mom doesn’t think she should have to do all the prep work.
After all, they’re both parents to their son. She tried to tell her husband that he “should be able to get his son ready for school, given that he’s been his parent for 7 years,” and he should be able to do it without his wife’s help. (Who’s helping her do it on a daily basis?)
“Given that he has nothing to do for the whole day while I’m driving my daughter to a doctor’s appt that will take 4 hours back & forth, this seems like a good example of male privilege,” she concluded.
Redditors think the mom is taking care of three children.
“Unfortunately, it sounds like you have another child in that man that lives with you,” one person commented on the post. “The two of you should be partnering in childcare and that includes all the child’s needs. He should be able to pick out clothes and dress his child and get his child to school on time.”
Others added that the mom’s situation sounds totally “exhausting” and accused the dad of “weaponized incompetence.”
Another Redditor noticed that the text the mom had to send her husband was very telling. “If you have to start a text to your spouse with ‘important requires reply’ you don’t have a spouse, you have another child to manage,” the commenter concluded.
