Miscommunications happen, but sometimes they have disastrous fallouts. That's exactly what happened when one mom thought her 19-year-old niece called because she wanted to hang out with her daughter. As it turns out, the niece thought something else entirely was happening.
The mom began her Reddit post explaining that she used to pay her niece to babysit her then 4 year-old girl for her when she was 13.
Over a weekend, she got a text from her niece that went a little like this:
“'NIECE: Hey Auntie []! Mom told me that you and Uncle [] have been pretty busy and stressed out lately :,( I was just thinking how much I miss [Daughter] and wanted to offer to take her tomorrow morning and have her over for the weekend. Mum and dad are cool with it if you are!'
'MOM: Hey [Niece's name], you are such a sweetheart <3. [Daughter] misses you too, we haven't seen you since Christmas! I will ask [daughter] and get back to you ASAP'
'NIECE: No problem! Everything just like old times?'
Brief intermission where I ask daughter.
'MOM: Yes! [Daughter] said she would love to go see you. Just let me know what time you'll be picking her up.'”
Her niece came to pick her up and they were off, and the mom says she got to spend a great day with her husband.
But apparently, the weekend wasn't a free chance to relax after all.
"I thought everything was great," the mom said. "When Niece comes back Sunday to drop daughter off, she handed me a bunch of receipts. I was a confused and asked what these were. She says they are all of daughter's expenses over the weekend (food, ice cream, gas). She then gives me a hand written invoice for her hours. She charged me an hourly rate from the literal minute she left, to the minute she returned."
The invoice totally took the mom by surprise.
"I was pretty upset and told her that we never agreed to this. I thought she was just taking her cousin out because she missed her. Niece insisted that this is how we used to do things (when she was 13) and wanted to be paid for her time," the mom said.
"At this point my husband comes over and asks what's up. I explain and he just says ok and goes to get his wallet. I told him absolutely not, and told niece she could go. She was upset and insisted on getting paid but I told her I would speak to her mother."
Apparently, after calling her sister, the mom discovered she wasn't the only one confused.
"I call my sister and explain what happened. She was confused because Niece has told her that I had asked her to take daughter for the weekend. I sent her screenshots of the texts and she agreed that the situation seemed sketchy. She said she would take care of it and we hung up," she wrote.
"My husband tells me we should have just paid her. After showing him the texts and telling him what my sister had told me, he agrees that Niece's actions were suspicion. He also insisted that she was only 19 and she was just 'hustling.' He still thinks we should have given her the money and that I was wrong… My opinion is that she was being deliberately unclear and hoping to just pressure us into paying. I think it's absolutely wrong to reward that behaviour."
Most people agreed that the niece went about things in the completely wrong way.
"Hypothetically speaking, if niece was short on cash and hoping to get some babysitting work from you, she could have said: 'hey auntie! Remember when I used to babysit Cousin? I'm currently trying to save money for X, so if you need babysitting doing again at all please let me know as I'd be happy to sit Cousin for you again,'" wrote one user, saying because of that, mom was totally in the right to withhold money.
Others had a few other suggestions on how to keep everyone happy.
One commenter thought the way the niece phrased the offer was the problem because "it sounds like she just wanted to hang out with your child, not 'babysit."
"To avoid further tension I'd just pay for the expenses (not the 'babysitting time'), although that was also your niece's prerogative as she didn't anticipate any expenses either," the person continued. "I'm just throwing it out there, but if you don't want to pay for that, you're totally justified, I'm just taking the Switzerland way."
Others gave the niece a pass because of one particular sentence.
When she responded "No problem! Everything just like old times?" people thought that's where the niece was referring to payment.
"I think it's just a 19 year old who was awkward in how she approached this which resulted in the misunderstandings I don't see it as deliberate," added one person. "While I get OPs [original poster] stance I also feel like both should give the benefit of the doubt to each other for the sake of family. Pay the $25 for the expenses– but not the hourly rate. This way if they do need a babysitter in the future not all bridges are burned with each other."
Either way, it sounds like this mom and her niece always had a special bond, and hopefully they will work it out so everyone feels comfortable down the line.
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