Okay, so you all have seen nude photos of Teen Mom Amber Portwood by now, right? Well, those photos have been in the top Internet searches all day, and from what I've seen going around Twitter, everyone's really obsessed with Amber's, well, obviously with seeing her nakedness and saying all kinds of mean things about her body, which I think looks pretty nice, but also there's lots of talk about her bad stomach tattoo of her daughter. Yeah, that's a pretty bad tattoo, indeed.
But honestly, all I can think is when I look at those naked photos is Couldn't Amber have at least cleaned her bedroom before doing an Internet-bound nudie photo shoot in there?
Amber, a word about your bedroom, please …?
First off, sister, before you worry about stripping off all your clothes and strategically placing your hands and hair over your private parts, why don't you make the bed. That tousled unmade bed makes your room look like a pigsty (and by the way, makes many people think about sex), and we can see your box spring! Cover that up! It's making me blush.
Listen, Amber. I actually made a promise to myself over a year ago that I'd make the bed every single morning, and you know what? I've been doing it ever since. Never felt better either! Maybe you'd feel so much better, you wouldn't feel the need to get naked for some friend's camera phone. Especially when that friend's probably going to sell those photos off while you're getting dressed again.
Next up — please close your bathroom door already. If you're going to "invite" people to peer into your home, don't just assume your nudity will divert their eyes away from that toilet eyesore. Yuck! No one wants to see that. And honey, believe me, they are looking.
Oh my, are those your clothes sitting atop the toilet seat — uck! Oh my dear, just cause you ripped those clothes off in a hurry to play Teen Sexy Mom doesn't mean you should set them on the toilet. Bacteria!!! Hope those duds went directly into the wash after your little photo shoot. You know, right after you gave your hands a good wash … I wasn't so incredibly shocked and overcome by your bad housekeeping that I didn't stop to notice where those paws have been, young lady.
Goodness gracious, that isn't one of Leah's polka-dotted baby blankets you're using as a cover-up in that one booty shot, is it? Oh no, no, no. It's very important to let your child have things that are hers and only hers — and not sully their sacred chi and specialness using them to cover up your brazen full frontal. I mean, would you place one of her teddy bears over your naked lady parts? No, no, you wouldn't. At least I hope you wouldn't.
Do you think Amber should have done a little housecleaning before her nude photo shoot?
Image via MTV
