If you’ve ever wondered how often married couples have sex, you’re not alone.
It’s a personal question most of us consider, especially when we get curious about how our own sex lives stack up against those of other married couples.
Well, now we can stop wondering. According to the most available and recent research, it’s most common for married couples and unmarried couples to have sex about one to three times per month. Less than you thought?
And even though averages may be somewhere in the once-a-week range, thanks to Reddit threads, we are privy to uncovering more details about how often married couples have sex – and there are some surprises.
This fact surprised us...
When wondering how often married couples have sex, you may assume that the older you get, the less you get it on, but according to people on Reddit, that’s not the case.
Even people married decades and well into their 50s are apparently getting it on as many times as people half their age who have no kids. For instance, one man who’s been married for 15 years shares that he and his wife are engaging in intercourse five to seven times a week! Impressive, right?
Assuming he is telling the truth, he writes: “Sex and intimacy is (IMO) one of the most important things in a relationship besides an intellectual connection that there is. It’s like the glue that can get you through some rough times by releasing. It tends to clear your head, if even only for a moment during your rough times.”
But wait, there's more ...
Another person confessed: “Together for 14 years, been married for 11 years, four kids. When things are not closed for maintenance, about five times a week.”
Seriously, I have three kids (which seemed like a lot until I read that post), and we are lucky to even dream of having alone time that much. Maybe it’s because we have a 6-month-old? Comparison is not helpful because everyone is different, but goodness, it’s hard not to compare sometimes!
On the flip side
Of course, not everyone is the same way, and plenty of couples have seen lulls in action, which is normal. One man who hasn’t tied the knot yet wrote: “WOW. Not even married yet, together with my S.O. for four years, live together … we haven’t had sex in 7 months …”
Everyone is different, right?
Healthy sex comes in ALL shapes and sizes.
Still, many of us long-married couples do have some insecurity about the discrepancy between our early swinging-from-the-chandelier times and our more-than-a-decade-later-married-with-kids times. We shouldn’t.
Some examples from Reddit:
1. “I’m 55, married for 32 years. Twice a week, more or less.”
2. “This makes so much sense to me. My husband and I have been married almost three years and have a baby. We have sex twice a week on average, sometimes more. It is really not a big deal to us though. The sex is AMAZING and just gets better, but we are so happy together it is just a very small part of our relationship. It is almost a bigger deal when we are fighting and we have it more often, almost as a way to increase intimacy until things are back to normal.”
3. “Married almost 15 years. It’s all over the place. Life is really crazy right now. We’re both working, both in school, and have a 5-year-old son. Sometimes it’s 3x a week, sometimes it’s none. It used to be much more frequent, but until we’re finished with our degrees (I’m almost done – woo!), it’ll probably stay pretty sporadic.”
4. “Married 15. Five kids. Our quota is four times a week. Although ‘quota’ sounds weird, we joke around about it and it’s a way for us to remember that although we’re busy with life, we still need to have some romantic time with each other to stay sane.”
So there you have it.
Truthfully, people answering a Reddit post are going to be a self-selecting crowd, most of whom are probably either thrilled with their sex lives or miserable about them. Still, there is something to be gleaned. Although the answers are all over the place, one thing is clear: We’re all curious about how often other couples are having sex and if we “measure up.”
Fortunately, there’s no such thing as the comparison game when it comes to our sex lives.
There is no “right” or “wrong” answer about how often to have sex. Instead, it comes down to what works best for you and your partner. If you feel you’re having too little (or too much) sex, talk to your partner. Communication and intimacy on an emotional level are both crucial before you can connect physically, so keep that at the forefront of your relationship too.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
