We've all heard about the older man/younger wife couple so much now that it's practically like a cliché, à la actors Harrison Ford and George Clooney. In fact, we're kind of numb to it by now. We just roll our eyes, and think, "of course, it's a younger woman." But in real life, it can still be shocking to see your ex hook up with someone younger, especially if you have kids and a long history in the mix.
If you've experienced this outside of a tabloid magazine and in real life, then you also probably have a few words you'd like to share, and most likely with that new, younger boo. We asked some women who've watched their exes move on with someone younger for their best advice — for the younger woman! After all, we can't forget who was there for him since the beginning, who helped him become aware of all of his less-than-favorable habits, and who birthed and raised the kids from day 1.
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Read on for some hilarious doses of the brutal truth and some occasionally wise advice for the new girl in his life. Who else makes a better sage than the one who was there first? Younger ladies, you might want to listen up and take notes.
Image via auremar/Shutterstock
Once a Cheater...
"My mother always said that 'if he'll cheat WITH you, he'll cheat ON you.' I guess you'll find out soon enough if that is true, won't you, Brittany?" — D.L.
You're Welcome
"That thing he does with his tongue? Yeah, I taught him that. You're welcome." — L.D.
What You Don't Know
"I'd tell his new girlfriend that there is a lot she doesn't know — both about him and about life. She's in her early twenties and I think she still has to discover a lot about the responsibilities of adult life. I'd also tell her that his side of the story about why we split up is HIS side of the story. I have a story too." — R.E.
Congratulations
"Dan and I couldn't make it work, but I sincerely hope you guys can, especially since you are pregnant. He wasn't the right husband for me but is a great father. I hope our kids will love each other. Really.
I also hope you get stretch marks. But that is just because I'm petty." — D.S.
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Remember Who I Am
"Dear Anna, you seem like a nice enough person. I think it is weird that you are 12 years younger than he is, but that's your deal. I promise to always be polite to you, but remember that his kids are MY kids. You'll never be their mom, and I don't want you acting like you are. We'll be cool, unless you cross that line." — O.Y.
The Secret
"He won't ever admit it, but I've seen the pictures: that was NOT the nose he was born with." — W.T.
That is My Money
"I got hosed in our divorce since I didn't do a pre-nup and I make a good salary. So I hope she knows that all those fun shopping trips? Yeah, I'm the one who has been footing the bill." — F.R.
Mr. Right
"You think he is Mr. Right. You'll figure out eventually that he is actually Mr. ALWAYS Right. Someday you'll look back and wonder how he made you believe that his way was always the right one. Honestly? I hope it takes you less time to figure that out than it took me." — S.A.
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Bad Dad
"There is a reason I'm not with him anymore and part of that reason is that he is a really sh**ty father. Right now you think it is cute that he has a kid, but hopefully you'll start to notice that he never pays child support and goes weeks at a time without seeing his kid. Think about that before he knocks you up too." — E.C.
Third Times a Charm
"He left his first wife for me and now is leaving me for you. Good luck. Maybe the third time is a charm. I wouldn't hold my breath." — C.S.
No Sex Season
"If you haven't figured it out already, you will soon: Give up the idea that you'll ever have sex on the weekends during football season. He likes his beer when he watches sports, but his penis, well, it doesn't really show up for the game after a few cold ones, you know what I mean? Between college games and the pros, you'll be lucky if you are getting action once a week." — R.S.
Charm Fades
"I can totally see why you fell for Mike. He's charming and cute, but you should know that his charm doesn't last forever. You'll find out soon enough what I mean by that. Good luck." — L.H.
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Good Luck
"Ha! Good luck with his mom. You're going to need it." — E.R.
Watch Your Wallet
"Yes, he is hot and crazy talented. He is the MOST fun to date, but DO NOT combine finances with him. His credit score SUCKS, and he can't save a penny to save his life. We've been done for three years, and I am still paying off charges he made on my credit cards. Watch your wallet, sweetheart." — S.F.
So Helpful
"I hope you enjoy housework. He's never done a load of laundry in his life. He was spoiled by his mom and then I fell into the trap as well. It is a good thing he is cute, right?" — P.O.
The Kids Didn't Ask for This
"Please remember that he is a dad first and a boyfriend second. The kids didn't deserve to have their parents split up, and it has been rough on them. Don't get in the way of him spending time with them, and we won't have any issues." — G.F.
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We Can Be Friends
"My ex is dating a woman who is 25 years younger than me (I am 10 years older than my ex) and if they get serious I want her to know that we can be friends. I don't hate my ex-husband. We just weren't right for each other. But we'll always be a part of each other's lives because we have three kids together. There is no reason that she and I can't be friends or at least friendly." — D.L.
His Mama
"Dear Brittany, his mama is never gonna love you as much as she loves me. Deal with it. #TeamMama" — T.Y.
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