There's a lot of popular thought out there that it's somehow impossible to be both overweight and to have a great sex life.
You might think that Weight Watchers, which recently launched a website called Weight Watchers Black designed to focus on sex, would already know this, but you'd be wrong.
As a part of the launch of this campaign, Weight Watchers sent journalists lightbulbs and some marketing materials that seem to imply that plus-size women don't enjoy having sex with the lights on. The lightbulbs? Designed to provide some flattering lighting to help boost our confidence.
Gee, thanks.
As a plus-size woman, I will say it can be so frustrating hearing messages like the one from Weight Watchers. I get that Weight Watchers has a vested interest in making sure people like me want to lose weight, but it is still annoying to hear people make assumptions that because I have some extra curves, I don't feel sexy.
But here is the truth — lights on or lights off, plus-size women like sex too. But don't just take my word for it. Read on for the candid thoughts on sex and body image from 11 plus-size women who are getting it on and feeling sexy, no unnecessary lightbulbs required.
Lights On
"Getting to the point where I'm comfortable in my own skin has been a long process. I've worked with a therapist, actually. But I feel like I'm in a good place with myself and that carries over to my sex life. I'm not ashamed to like sex and I believe my husband when he says he thinks I'm hot.
Of course, I have sex with the lights on! I'm fat and my sex life is rocking!" — P.K.
A Life in Full
"Ugh. I actually find the idea that I don't have a good sex life because I'm not some 100-pound stick figure to be super offensive.
I have a full life, in all respects, including sex. I'm a newlywed, I have a good job, I have great friends — my weight is like the 17th most interesting thing about me." — I.H.
I Deserve It
"The best way to have a good sex life as an overweight person is to start by having a sex life! I refuse to let my size make me shy in the bedroom. My husband deserves better. Hell, I deserve better. We all deserve to have good sex." — B.E.
He Likes Every Inch
"How do I say this? The idea that big girls don't like sex is such a white girl thing. For African-American women, well — I don't think we have that baggage. Curves have always been sexy. Thick girls have always been able to get love!
I'm a size 22 and I have a great sex life. My husband likes every inch of me." — P.R.
More from CafeMom: If You're Freaking Out Over Being Called Plus-Sized, You're Missing the Point
Radical Self-Love
"There is nothing more radical than deciding to love yourself, cellulite and stretch marks and all. I'm a feminist and I feel like that means deciding that I deserve to feel good in the body I currently have, not waiting for pleasure until I am some perfect size.
I've had good sex, bad sexy, dirty sex, kinky sex — my body isn't everyone's vision of perfect but I get to decide how I feel about it. And I choose to feel good!" — A.W.
Very Personal Training
"I'm currently a size 16, down from a size 24. I've been working out with and, yes, screwing a personal trainer for about a year. We have a friends-with-benefits kind of thing.
Some of my friends sort of seem surprised that a totally ripped trainer is into a plus-size person. But I'm strong and funny and he likes my big boobs. Sex is a fun way to get my cardio in!" — D.S.
Assume the Position
"Having sex as a fat person is just as fun as having sex as a skinny person. I know because I've done both! I was 120 pounds when I got married and I'm 250 now. True story. Life is complicated and I wouldn't mind being skinny again. But I'm not waiting for that to happen to enjoy having sex with my husband.
The biggest difference in our sex life now is that there are some positions that are trickier now. We can't do standing positions. But doggy style is still hot as hell!" — R.T.
First Time
"I didn't have my first orgasm until recently, actually. I've been having sex for like 15 years but I wasn't ever able to get there. I had a lot of repressed guilt about sex from my super religious childhood.
But I've started really working on accepting myself and accepting that I'm a person who can actually enjoy sex. I got my first vibrator and it is a game changer! So know I'm 32, 200 pounds, and finally getting off. About time." — L.M.
More from CafeMom: What Your Job Says About Your Sex Life (PHOTOS)
Ebb and Flow
"The key to a good sex life isn't your weight — it is your partner. My husband is still totally into me, even though I've put on 50 pounds since we got married 12 years ago.
Our sex life has its ebbs and flows, but they don't seem to be connected to my weight or his. If we get time without the kids to actually have sex, then it is probably going to be good!" — K.S.
Dating With Curves
"I'm currently single, after getting divorced last year. I wasn't sure how it would be to be dating this time around. The last time I was in the dating world, I was a size six. This time I am a size 16.
But the truth is that there are WAY more guys than I expected who are into women with more curves. I feel like dating at a size 16 is easier in some ways.
I'm open about my size on the dating sites, so I don't have anxiety about it being a turn-off. Maybe I'm just more mature this time around. But I find it easier to ask for what I want now and I have better sex now too." — H.J.
Happy Together
"My husband and I are both overweight — we've been that way since we met, but we've always had a great sex life.
I know that the idea of two fat people having sex is disgusting or funny to some people, but we're happy and I hate the idea that sexy is something that only belongs to skinny people. Love is love and sex feels good, no matter your size." — R.E.
