Marriage is amazing. Except on the days when it's not. Marriage (or a long-term partnership) can be about companionship and spending our lives with the person we like the best. It can be about starting a family and making a life and having years to create treasured shared memories. But … it can also be filled with days when the laundry isn't done and the sink is still dripping for no reason and the sound of the other person eating cereal makes us want to walk out into the sea.
We highly doubt there is any long-term couple that hasn't had days/weeks/months and maybe even longer when the pressures of work and raising small kids made it all too easy to forget why we got married in the first place. Maybe there are some couples that never have a patch when it feels like they are more like roommates than lovers, but we know plenty of moms who've been in that place. While sometimes this can be a sign that maybe some counseling or other work to repair the relationship is in order, sometimes all it takes is a moment of unexpected sweetness or humor to remind us of how much we actually like our partner. We asked some moms to share with us the moments when they fell in love with their partner all over again and their responses are giving us all the feels!
Sick Kid Wrangler
"For me, I always remember why I love him when the kids are sick and he is so tender and good at taking care of them. Like, he's on it with puke duty or staying up all night if they need it. He can be really selfless when his people need him and that is a good reminder, especially on the nights when he clips his toenails while I'm trying to watch TV." — Dana S., Falcon Heights, Minnesota
Smitten
"Every time he does something kind for me or for someone else, every time he advocates for our kid, every time he slicks his hair back like Mandy Patinkin or up like Flock of Seagulls, every time he makes me a cocktail, every time we have a thought-provoking discussion. I'm smitten!" — Blair H., Seattle, Washington
Loving Touch
"Our second daughter was born five weeks early and she spent the first three weeks in the NICU. I was holding her, just a few days post an emergency C-section — my body hurt and my feet were so swollen and so were my eyes from all of the crying. In the middle of her little NICU room, with nurses and doctors bustling around, he dropped to his knees and started massaging my feet. I needed that loving touch so much, in that moment." — Gracie T., Columbus, Ohio
Workout Buddy
"I love working out with my husband. Every time we are at the gym together, I take a long, hard look and realize how lucky I am. Not just cuz he has a cute a– and can run real fast (like faster than most 49-year-old men), but because he is committed to his health so we can grow old and healthy together. He talks about wanting to do marathons with me in our 70s and that makes me feel lucky and more in love." — Sasha R., Toronto, Ontario, Canada
The Solution
"I woke him up accidentally when I went to bed pretty late the other night. He was kind of a grump the next day and said it’s the sound of getting my vitamins out of my bedside drawer that wakes him. Before I could suggest a solution, he said, 'I know, rather than getting annoyed at you, why don’t you just tell me which vitamins you take at night and I’ll get them out for you when I fill up your water.' He’s done that every night since." — Anna H., Oakland, California
The Better Seat
"I get reminded every time we fly. Even though he is bigger, he always takes the middle seat so I can have the window seat. The last time we flew, we had enough airline miles for one upgrade to first class and he gave it to me without hesitation." — Hillary D., St. Paul, Minnesota
All the Good Parts
"All of the good parts of him I fell in love with are still there 26 years later. Along with these parts have emerged so many more as we became parents of five wonderful children and sail these really rough seas together. I still see the guy I met in that bar as we work to discover what we as a couple and as individuals look like now as we begin a new chapter of parenting adult children and growing our family with children-in-law and, maybe someday, grandchildren. I stay with him because I am still deeply, madly, passionately in love with the man I met, the man he became, and the man he is becoming." — Summer L., Denton, Texas
Equals
"We take turns having meltdowns, melancholy, and being substandard, so when he picks me up and sets me straight, I know he knows how it feels to be down. We are equally successful, lazy, funny, crabby, sexy, frumpy, and lovable. He can each take the reigns with confidence and also hand them over." — Marie D., San Diego, California
When the Guard Is Up
"My husband has been the best partner for me I could have asked for. I dealt with a lot of trauma growing up, stemming from an addict parent. He always knows when my guard goes up and I get very short with him. Instead of being upset with me, he usually says, 'Your wall is going up. I’ll be on the other side waiting patiently for it to come down.' It gives me the time and space to process in a loving way and reminds me again why I fell in love with him." — Name withheld by request
My Favorite
"No one annoys me like him, but we've been married for nearly 10 years so I know there are going to be good days and bad. But every day he makes me coffee and shoves food at me when I don't feed myself. We make each other laugh. It's hard for me to put it into words but when he hands me a cup of coffee, I remember he is my favorite." — Kacey E., Scottsdale, Arizona
The Listener
"We recently went to a Christmas party and were talking with a friend's college-age daughters. After the party, the girls told their mom that my husband was an example of a 'really good man who listens to women and doesn't try to explain everything to them.' Now, having been married to him for over 15 years, I can say that this true (like 99% of the time), and it is one thing that I truly appreciate about him. And that 1% of the time where he does it and I tell him what he's doing — he listens and tries harder." — Joanna D., Tulsa, Oklahoma
The Softie
"My husband is S-E-N-S-I-T-I-V-E and cries frequently at sappy commercials, heartwarming stories on the internet, someone mentioning an achievement, etc. I poke fun at him a lot but I also love what it shows about him and also that our kids get to see a sensitive dude in their dad. He cried reading our 5-year-old a book about Rosa Parks yesterday." — Meredith S., Jacksonville, Florida
The Introvert
"I am an introvert to the max and I am reminded how much I love my husband when I remember that he doesn't count as a person I need a break from when I can't [handle] people anymore. To add to that, he fully supports my need for alone time/personal space and will plan things to get out of the house or encourage me to take time away from our house (and subsequently him) in the form of a solo weekend vacation whenever I need it." — Paris V., Edina, Minnesota
The Mattress Man
"My husband gets me. We are on the same wavelength and have a shorthand for talking to each other and conveying a message via movie or song lyrics, inside jokes, or facial expressions. He’s a great dad, which is a bonus, but in reality he’s just fun to be around and we laugh constantly. I never feel judged for just being me when I’m around him. ETA: here’s a random example of our shorthand. When we need to leave somewhere, but don’t want to be rude or have a reason, we look at the other and say, 'Well, that’s that mattress man.' And the other knows that it’s time to leave. The phrase is from Punch Drunk Love and I’ve got no idea how that folded into our vocabulary, but that’s where we are, and I love it." — Anna F., Houston, Texas
The Candle
"A few years ago, my husband was like, hey, I'm going to go pick something up. And I was like, what are you getting? And he was like, A Ruth Bader Ginsburg prayer candle. And that's why I married him." — Sarah B., Milford, Delaware
The Quote
"All one of us has to do is say a random quote from The Big Lebowski at the right moment and we both crack up. After 25 years, we still both have the same dumb sense of humor. It even sometimes defuses an argument if 'calmer then you are …' is whipped out at the right moment. (Note: That line, if whipped out at the wrong moment, also quickly escalates an argument)." — Evelyn P., Atlanta, Georgia
The Pickles
"We went on a walk and ended up at the grocery store. He saw me eyeing up the pickles and offered to carry them the mile uphill back home and then I knew." — Jessica B., Duluth, Minnesota
Game Night
"I had one of those moments recently and it kind of surprised me. It was his sarcastic take on every turn in Cards Against Humanity (family edition). It just made all of us laugh and reminded me of how much I love his sense of humor." — Kara W., Liberal, Kansas
Family Memory Maker
"Years ago, my mom received an unfortunate cancer diagnosis. After a few months of treatment, the doctors told her that she could take a week off from her infusions. Sidenote: My husband has to take work off months in advance and as coincidence would have it, he had previously taken off that same week! Well, I said to my husband, 'Can we do something really fun, like go to the Children's Theater or to the Saint Paul Hotel for dinner with my parents that week?'
"My husband said, 'F— that, we're going to Disney World!' John and I, along with our kids, my mom and dad, and my mom's sister, went to Disney World and had the time of our lives! None of us had ever been there before, my parents were not big travelers. Sadly, five months later, my mom passed away. I will be forever grateful to John for seizing the day and giving our family memories for a lifetime. He didn't hesitate — F— it, indeed!" — Laurie K., St. Paul, Minnesota
Pet Dad
"In the 14 years we’ve been together, he reluctantly agreed to let me bring home three dogs, six chickens, and a cat. He loves and cares for all of them better than me, from the poop cleanups to the medicines and snuggles." — Riley W., Altoona, Iowa
Buy the Tickets
"My partner and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary. There are two things that he does that I really love still. He buys tickets. You know what I mean? He plans dates and fun things for us to do. I don't always have to be the planner. And he sings all of the time. It just brightens the room. I love it." — Tara G., Grand Rapids, Michigan
