My wedding ring isn't anything special. It's a simple gold band and I'm pretty sure it cost less than $150. But I love it because it's a tangible symbol of the commitment my husband and I made. Rings, even if they aren't fancy, are really significant — most folks would certainly agree with that. So with that said, how do women who are getting divorced know when it's time to take it off?
When it comes to getting divorced, there are tons of major decisions to make. Deciding when to take a wedding ring off might not seem as significant as figuring out how to tell the kids or how to divide all the assets. But just as wearing the ring is a tangible sign of commitment, taking it off if is a visible sign that things are really and truly over.
We talked to 14 women who've gotten divorced and asked them how and when they knew it was time for them to take off their wedding rings for good. Just like every marriage is different, every woman had a different time and reason.
For some women, taking the ring off was the last stage of a long grieving process. For others, it was a decision made in a moment of shock and anger.
Read on to hear their real stories.
Solo Adventure
"I made plans to do a weeklong hike during the month I figured my divorce would be finalized. I wanted to show myself (and my ex, to be honest) that I could be independent. I took my ring and at the end of my hike, I threw it into a lake. I hope a fish didn't choke on it." — Lacey J., Macon, Georgia
Same Day
"I actually took mine off the day I found out he was cheating on me. I threw it at his face when I confronted him. It seems like kind of a soap opera move, but I was so angry in the moment that I couldn't help myself. I never put it back on after that." — Ashley R., Gilbert, Arizona
Box It Up
"I took mine off when my husband boxed up his stuff and moved out. I didn't really think he was serious about wanting to split up until that moment. I thought we'd be able to work it out. I was wrong. Seeing the ring just made me feel like a failure." — Jessica B., Ankeny, Iowa
More from CafeMom: 11 Texts That Reveal the Messy Truth About Life After Divorce
First Things First
"When I found out my ex was having an affair, I wanted to throw him right out the house, all his stuff included. And that ugly ring too. But I knew we had to tell our daughter first, so I waited a few days so I could calm down and then took the ring off after she knew we were separating. I gave the ring back to his mama. She can keep it." — Gayle M., Clearwater, Florida
First Date
"Um, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I didn't take my ring off until I was ready to go on my first date. That was 13 months after the divorce was final. It took me a long-ass time to grieve and get ready to move on." — Name withheld by request
He Asked for It
"He asked for it back! Said he wanted to sell it to help with the child support. First of all, it was worth maybe $500. Secondly, he asked when we were in public doing a kid exchange. There may have been some yelling on my part. Not my finest hour." — Allison K., Oakdale, Minnesota
Hardest Fight
"Oh man, giving him back the ring was brutal. We fought so hard to make it work after I had a stupid affair. We did months of therapy and we just couldn't save our marriage. I gave him both my rings back in the parking lot of our therapist's office after our last session." — Marcia D., Des Moines, Iowa
More from CafeMom: 10 Things Every Divorced Woman Should Do Before Starting to Date Again
In the Box
"I took it off the day the divorce decree was final. It was like the final final step, I guess. It wasn't dramatic. I just took it off and put it in a little box in my dresser. I'm keeping it in case my daughters ever want to see it someday." — Annie N., St. Paul, Minnesota
Daddy Time
"The first weekend my daughter got to have 'Daddy time' at my husband's new place felt like the moment I knew for sure we were over. I dropped her off, got a big bottle of wine, and had a good cry at home. I took the ring off that night." — Sarah F., San Diego, California
Saying Goodbye
"I was close with my mother-in-law and the ring was a family ring, so I took it off (and gave it back) when I went to say goodbye to her. My husband was already engaged, so I knew I wouldn't likely be staying in touch with her. I miss her a lot more than I miss him, that's for damn sure!" — Pattie P., Denver, Colorado
Bye Bye Baby
"My asshole ex, classy guy that he is, left me for someone else when I was five months pregnant with our baby. I ended up having to have the ring cut off my finger when my hands got really swollen. Seems like a fitting ending. Now I've got the baby but not the jerk." — Erin D., Santa Fe, New Mexico
My Own Space
"I never had my own place. I went from living with my folks to living with my now ex. Getting divorced was super hard but I felt really proud to have my own apartment. I took my ring off my first night in my new space. I wanted that fresh-start feeling." — Claire T., Lansing, Michigan
Not Yet
"I keep taking it off, but then I'll get sad and put it back on again, so I don't know if I can really answer this question. I'm just still in shock about my marriage ending. We've only been married for 17 months! I don't want this but he does and that sucks." — Talia D., San Jose, California
A Wreck
"I actually wasn't ready to take it off but I got into a bad car accident and broke several fingers. The ER docs had me take it off in case my hand got swollen. I did and then by the time my hand was healed, I didn't want to wear it anymore." — Diane L., Boise, Idaho
