It's been several months since the social media exploded with the news that Tristan Thompson was stepping out on Khloe Kardashian and let's be real — we're all still totally obsessed with this cheating scandal. Whether it's your favorite celeb or the couple next door, it's always juicy to hear about infidelity. But when it gets especially interesting? After a scandal couple couples decide to stay together. After all, overcoming that level of hardship is nothing to scoff at. And one can't help but to speculate what the secret is to overcoming such a scandal — especially when it happens to "real" people.Â
 I think it's pretty normal to want to know all the details and to speculate on what's going to happen next. It's also really easy to assume that a person would know what to would do in that situation and to assume cheating is always going to be a deal breaker.Â
But women who dealt with their own cheating scandals, it seems like the reality is a lot more complicated than what they might tell their friends or share on social media. We reached out to 20 women, who requested to stay anonymous, and survived infidelity with their relationships still intact. Read on for real, and sometimes raw, stories about what it takes to keeping going after being cheated on.
Time to Mourn
"The biggest survival thing was giving myself time. Time to be angry. Time to mourn the death of what I thought our marriage was. Time to think about what to do next. I didn't rush to make a decision because I wasn't in my right mind at first. Healing was slow. But it's possible, for sure."
Keep it Private
"When I found out he cheated I put his ass on blast. I told EVERYONE, posted it on Facebook, the whole nine yards. In hindsight, I wish I had been more private. Now we are back together and we're good but everybody knows our business and has an opinion."
Another Khloe
"I'm a Khloe! Well, minus the big ass! But my fiance cheated when I was pregnant. It was our baby that kept us together at first. I would have left for sure if I hadn't been pregnant. But she forced us to deal with each other and we were eventually able to move forward. We're expecting #2 in a few months and are stronger than ever."
No Magic Trick
"There's no magic secret to surviving a cheating scandal. You just have to do the work of repairing your relationship and rebuilding your life. Your marriage will never be the same and that's just a part of the deal."
Small Town Gossip
"I live in a small town and everybody is all up in each other's business. That was hard for me afterwards. Both realizing that tons of people knew he was hooking up with his side chick and didn't tell me and knowing that people still gossip about us. But screw them. Our marriage isn't their business."
Moving On
"We had to move. Like, move to another state. I needed the fresh start. I needed to make sure he never saw the other woman (he worked with her) again. I was willing to make it work but only if he moved back to my home state, which he did."
Instagram Famous
"I guess you could say I'm sort of Insta-famous. I have a lot of followers and do lifestyle and fashion stuff, which sometimes features my husband. When I found out he was cheating, I had to decide if I was going to be real about that online or pretend to be a happy family and not risk our side hustle. I chose to keep it private but I think there were some rumors out there still. I just felt like I deserve privacy to make my next move."
Financial Fallout
"A lot of people don't realize that surviving an affair is hella expensive! We've gone into credit card debt dealing with it all: couples counseling, hotel stays for him, talking to a lawyer. All that costs money. We're making progress but it still sucks."
Act of Faith
"In my religion, you don't divorce (we're Muslim) so it was so devastating to know he was unfaithful but I also knew my faith would guide me. It was hard to tell our Imam but he ended up offering support that really helped."
For the Kids
"Everything changes after you have kids. I never thought I'd be someone who stuck with someone who cheated but I felt like I owed it to my kids to at least try to make it work. And like 98% of the time I'm glad we did. It was five years ago now and I'm still here and mostly trust him again."
Shifted the Power
"For most of our relationship I felt like he called the shots, if that makes sense. I was the mom, he made the money and most of the decisions. But when he got caught cheating the power shifted in our relationship. Suddenly I was making the call about what happened next. In a weird way, his affair is how I kind of found my voice. Now we are a more balanced team."
Nobody Better
"This was my gut check moment: do I like him even though he cheated better than I could ever like anyone else? Maybe it sounds pathetic but I knew I'd always love him more than I could love anyone else. There's just nobody better for me."
Ignoring the Judgement
"Please don't judge people who stay after an affair! My mom still guilts me about 'being a pushover' and I hate it. My marriage is MY MARRIAGE. You don't know all the details (trust me) so don't give advice."
Everybody Makes Mistakes
"We've both cheated — me before we were married, her after we'd been together 10 years. It still hurt when I caught her in the act but I understood more about how you can get carried away in a moment. The thing that saved us was being willing to talk and talk and talk our way through it."
Stay off Social
"I NEVER talked about our marriage problems on social media and I think that's key. Which is ironic that I'm sharing it now, I guess. But the internet is forever and there was no way I was going to let my kids go online someday and find out that Daddy made out with our neighbor once."
One & Done
"He got drunk at a bachelor party and made out with a stripper (gross). His idiot friend Snapchatted me a picture. I was so pissed but eventually I was able accept that it was a stupid one time mistake and that it wasn't going to happen again. But he's never going to see another stripper again."
Prayer
"My husband works for a church and was sexting my best friend. Yeah. It was messed up. But we went to counseling with our pastor and prayed our way through it, I guess. I still can't forgive her though."
Changed the Rules
"We're actually in a semi-open relationship now. My husband's affair and our marriage counseling afterwards led to us realizing that we just didn't think strict monogamy is realistic. Intercourse is off-limits, but flirting, kissing, etc. are all on the table now. It works for us."
Trapped and Grateful
"At first I stayed because I couldn't afford to leave. I was a stay-at-home mom and had no money of my own and no real career to go do. I felt trapped at first but now I'm at peace with it. We're more like roommates now but we're still good parents to our kids. I'm grateful for that. We aren't a big romance but we are great family."
Time Apart
"I made him move out for six months and I think that saved us. It gave both of the chance to see what life after a divorce might look like and he realized it wasn't going to be as fun as he thought it would. He was real motivated to make it work when he was slumming it in a studio apartment."
