A soon-to-be groom and his bride are facing some serious backlash from his family after he they had to tell them that they wanted a child-free wedding — no exceptions allowed. But of course, some people took the decision personally and now the man explained that his stepmother and dad "decided to pull out of wedding and (have) excommunicated [me] from the family," he wrote.
The only thing that the couple had wanted for their wedding was for it to be an "adults-only" affair.
The groom explained in a post on Reddit that he and his fiancée had really wanted to have a child-free wedding. But things got tricky when the man had to explain to his stepmom that his baby-aged nephew would't be allowed to attend.
"She seemed taken aback but then said that it would upset my stepsister and my father," he wrote. "I said I would talk with my fiancée, but warned that I couldn't promise anything. That night we again talked about it and agreed that we didn't want children at the wedding."
And things only got worse when he tried to call his stepsister personally and explain the situation to her.
As he tried to explain in a phone call to his stepsister, it wasn't that he and his fiancée don't love his nephew. They just felt that if they made this exception to her they would have to make it for the rest of the family "and ultimately not be what we were looking for on our day."
He then offered to let his nephew come to the rehearsal dinner. "I also offered if they couldn't find someone to take care of my nephew that I would pay for a babysitter," he added. But the gesture would prove to be insufficient.
"I could tell she was upset and she said that she and her husband could no longer attend the wedding (they were part of the bridal party)," he continued. "About five minutes later I get a call from my father and step-mother who are furious with me."
No matter how much he tried to explain that the decision wasn't personal, his parents were not buying it. "They told me several times I needed to talk to my fiancĂ©e and change her mind on this (they implied she was a bad individual that doesn't value family… She does)," he wrote.
And then his stepmom took things a step further. She decide to wage war on the couple and asked the rest of their family not to go to their wedding.
The man wrote that his stepmother and dad told him that they were never going to speak to him again and added that his stepmother "told me she was going to call all of that side of my family (parents are divorced) and tell everyone not to come."
And she didn't stop there. The "step-motherzilla" also called the bride's mom and flipped out on her as well.
Now, the writer's fiancée is upset over the argument and the couple is still reeling from his stepmother's harsh stance.
"Were we being too unreasonable?" he wrote. "How do we forgive someone who has been so vicious towards us?"
People were seriously irritated by the writer's stepmother, who had clearly overstepped her boundaries.
"I am one who has always thought that children should be at weddings. However, it's not my place to say about anyone's wedding other than my own," one person wrote. "When my son was younger–about five or so–a family wedding was no children. We got a babysitter for him and my sister's kids. No big deal. IT'S THE DECISION OF THE WEDDING COUPLE. NOBODY ELSE'S! Stand your ground. Let step-mother be annoyed."
"Wow. The irony of her blowing up your whole family over you hurting your 'family' with a reasonable wedding choice!" another person commented. "You didn't do a thing wrong, although you probably should have talked to your stepsister a little earlier in retrospect. This is all about control. Your stepmother is insane that she doesn't have it and just took a flamethrower to your wedding. Whatever you do, do NOT give in to her demands. I am super impressed with how you've handled yourself so far."
And someone else wondered, "why are they excommunicating you over a (baby's) attendance? That baby will never remember your wedding day and likely would never care that he wasnât invited. Trash is taking itself out. I canât believe your family is deciding to cut you out over this, maybe itâs been a long time coming and stepmother needed a reason to finally drive the wedge between you and your fatherâs side of the family."
But some people argued that the couple *could* have compromised.
"One thing you could have done, is offer for both sides of the family to bring children but have them in a room close to the main venue with a trusted babysitter," someone wrote. "This way, parents can check on their children easily and no one would have to do the logistics of getting someone to watch the kids if they chose to attend the wedding. I mean, overall, I don't see an issue but it is another idea."
Someone else argued that perhaps the couple should have told their family earlier. "They sound very unreasonable the way you described it. However, you should have told them way earlier," they wrote. "Iâm sure they were unhappy they paid for a tuxedo rental and canât use it, and now have to scramble to a sitter etc. Giving them short notice was a mistake thatâs on you."
He later responded that he was giving his family four months of notice. "They had four months notice," he wrote. "How long does it take to find a sitter?"
"Another option would be to have a children's reception," added a third person. "Hire a few babysitters for kids under 5 or whatever."
Though the diss is frustrating and annoying, the writer later added that he won't be totally upset if his father's family decides not to show. "I still have my mother's half which I am much closer to," he wrote. "(If) I'm being honest I had assumed more of my father's side would not attend. If they do then great, if not then it won't upset me."
And he added he at least has one family member who wants to make peace. "On Sunday I talked to my grandfather (father's side)," he wrote. "He was equally shocked by the actions that my stepmother took. He backed me 100 percent as well, but he said after a few months pass I should consider talking to my dad and stepmother."
The writer added that his grandfather wanted him to have a good relationship with his dad. "I care about him because he not only supports me now but has my entire life, but I don't know how I'm going to be able to forgive the rest of my immediate family."
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