There are only so many TV shows to binge before people get bored. And after checking everything else off their short to-do list, people are finding a lot more opportunities for some … personal time. Now, considering it is a normal and healthy activity everyone has a right to participate in, no one is judging anyone these days for spending a little extra time on themselves.
But one Redditor might have taken his daily "self care" routine a little too far.
"My family will abandon me," he begins his harrowing tale.
He freely admits he has been adamantly participating in self-pleasure activities on the daily.
"After I’m done and I finish I usually grab some paper or sometimes a random cloth and clean myself up," he explained. "Today I was home alone … when I decided to masturbate freely in my living room, and lazily cleaned myself up with a random small towel laying about."
One might give some credit and think "hey, at least he cleaned himself up," but dearest reader, you'd be wrong. In fact this is where he went awry.
It wasn't until the evening when he realized his mistake.
"Later today while I was eating dinner, my mother lectured me about how I didn’t do the dishes and asked me why, but I quickly just replied that I was busy doing work online (but you know the truth)."
That ultimately meant mom had to do a load of dishes before beginning to cook.
(P.S. Mama, we feel your pain.)
"After dinner I went to the sink to dispose of my dirty plate and fork, till I was quickly stone frozen from horror," he wrote.
"I noticed that the clothe I had used to wipe the large amounts of semen off of me, was ominously sitting beside the sink, glaring back at me. I had realized immediately what had happened, and it was later confirmed by my mother, that the plates and forks she used to feed our entire family, was washed using that sperm ridden cloth."
Dear. God. In. Heaven.
Every mother of teenage boys on on earth right now is about to throw out every single one of their towels, bulk order new ones, and put a padlock on the linen closet.
Fellow Redditors were totally appalled.
"What kind of person uses a random cloth laying about and then just leaves it there in the living room," asked one user — which really is what we all want to know.
Like, what did you expect to happen to it?!
Others had some serious questions about his choices overall.
"…how does he not know the dish drying cloth in his house and what is it doing in the living room," one person wondered. "What would he have done if they'd came back early for whatever reason…"
Others had a bit of criticism for the mom in this situation as well.
"Your mom used a dirty towel she found god knows where to clean the dishes," a disgusted reader asked. "Man, that’s more horrifying than your confession."
A few others agreed this might be the most egregious offense.
"It seems like everyone needs to learn a lesson here. You need to start whacking it into tissues you can throw away and she needs to get a fresh towel to dry the dishes. Y'all all nasty!"
Couldn't have said it better ourselves. Though a few folks are calling shenanigans on the story, the idea of it is horrifying enough to serve as a reminder to always grab a fresh towel or rag when teen boys are afoot.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
