Unfortunately, the world isn’t always safe for women. Even in spaces where we should be safe, we have to be hyper-aware of the actions of other people, and there are some red flags that should immediately get us to act. But over time, we can become somewhat conditioned to no longer listen to that inner voice, and it can prove to be quite dangerous.
One woman posted to Reddit, explaining that she was concerned over some things her boyfriend's dad was doing, but she struggled to listen to her gut. Her story and the community's replies are a good warning to everyone that it's important not to ignore that inner voice.
The anonymous woman opened up to the relationship advice community on Reddit, looking for advice.
The woman (OP) started off her post writing, " Hi. I'm going crazy with this. I have a bad feeling in my gut and I'm completely creeped out by my bf's dad but I'm not sure if I'm thinking too much."
She goes on to explain that although she's been with her boyfriend for years, she doesn't know his biological dad that well and neither does her boyfriend. He primarily grew up with his mom and stepdad, with his bio dad re-entering his life not that long ago.
"My bf is an essential worker and is not home most of the time," she explained. "My bf is not close to his dad. We've been dating for two years and I have never met his dad. He grew up with his stepfather and mom, and I've only met them."
Things changed around the time the world health issue led people to be quarantined. "During quarantine, his bio dad insisted that we come live with him for a while because he lives alone and it'll be helpful," OP said. "My bf agreed and we've been quarantining with his dad for almost two months now."
She's been there for two months, and although she's spent more time with her boyfriend's bio dad, she's not getting good vibes from him.
"Bf's dad is a little creepy and he's really scaring me," she admitted. "He looked like a decent man at first, but lately I'm scared to even go near him. Especially when my bf is not home, his dad has been trying to ask me weird things."
The OP says at first, she thought he was "just being friendly" and his questions were pretty basic, asking about her relationship with her son. "His questions were normal like 'How long have you been dating for?' Or 'How is your relationship with my son?' 'What do your parents do?'" but then things took a shift.
"Overtime he started asking weird stuff and making random comments like Is my son satisfying you sexually, how is your sex life, you look like you are very submissive in bed, I love submissive girls etc."
She admitted that at first she though he was joking. "I used to nervously laugh and answer him. I thought he would stop, but he would just laugh along with me and ask more questions. He told me that he's really good at pleasing young girls even if they are a bit inexperienced. He offered to give me some tips or show me. I was able to politely decline but he wouldn't back off."
She then shared that things escalated even further a few days before writing the Reddit post.
"A few days ago, I was taking a nap in my room and he just came into my room and sat on the chair," she said. "When I woke up, it was like I was inside a horror movie. He was just sat in a chair staring at me."
She asked him what he was doing, and he told her that he was looking for a book on her bookshelf. "He uses that excuse a lot and comes into my room and rummages through the shelf for no reason. I feel like it's just an excuse to talk to me and ask me weird things."
And then he made physical contact with her. "He never touches me usually but he grabbed my butt jokingly yesterday. He laughed and joked I had a nice butt and walked away like it was nothing. I had no idea how to react and I just stood there for like fifteen minutes because I had no idea what to do and it was so awkward."
She said he's "getting creepier and creepier" the longer she's living with him and she's worried.
"He keeps making jokes/comments about how he was a very experienced older man and he could teach me a lot of things if I would just cooperate," she shared. "He loudly says that he's very curious about how me and my bf have sex. He always laughs and I honestly have no idea if he's joking or serious."
She's conflicted on what to do. She admitted that recently her boyfriend's bio dad made a joke that he later said wasn't serious, but it raised those red flags for her. When she confronted him, he "apologized very quickly and told me it was a joke. He would never say something like that. It was sarcasm and he looked so remorseful that I felt bad and I apologized."
She asked the Reddit Relationship advice channel what she should do. "I'm so confused and paranoid and I have no idea what to do. Please please tell me if this is me taking a joke too literally or if it's really serious. I feel so stupid."
She added, "I don't want to jump to conclusions and ruin my bf and dad's relationship. They seem to be getting along lately and I feel like if I say anything, I will destroy their newly budding relationship."
The comment section on OP's post lit up with people urging her to take this seriously and to get out.
People quickly replied to the OP's question on if she was overreacting with a very resounding, "No, you're not" and "Get out."
One person replied with solid advice, reminding everyone that being polite is not a requirement: "F–k politeness."
Other commenters gave advice on how to safely get out of the house, highlighting some very important considerations to make sure she's safe. Others let the OP know that her gut is right and these are huge red flags.
"Please if you are reading this get out home now, call your boyfriend immediately," one person urged her. "YOU ARE IN DANGER. GET OUT NOW. Please don't be in denial, you are close of being raped. GET OUT NOW."
The person added, "IF ITS NOT POSSIBLE TO GET OUT. GO TO A ROOM WITH A LOCK, LOCK THE DOOR. Don't let him enter no matter what. Call your boyfriend. IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS NOT AVAILABLE CALL THE POLICE. please don't be in denial. This is no joke."
OP updated her post, thanking everyone for all the care and advice and to let everyone know that she was safe.
"There's a lot going on at the moment," she wrote. "I'm really sorry for worrying everyone. I'm sorry. I'm safe. My boyfriend is right next to me. I'll post an update if I can, but if I don't please understand. Thank you so much. I never thought I would get so much support. Thank you."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
