Planning a wedding is a lot of work. Although a wedding is a happy occasion, it usually brings out the family drama. There are so many factors that need to all be working together for the day to come off without a hitch. The first order of business is normally choosing the wedding date. After going back and forth on which season is preferable, cross-check with your calendar to make sure it won't conflict with anything else planned, it's time to send out the save the date cards and hope for the best.
One bride-to-be did all that hard work, narrowed down a date six months ago, and is now left shocked after something her own dad did that's potentially going to ruin her wedding plans.
She took to Reddit to air out her frustrations.
A bride-to-be posted in the Reddit community, JustNoFamily, "a support subreddit for those dealing with challenging family dynamics and/or family members with personality disorders." And a challenging dynamic she has — with her dad.
"I just can't believe it," the original poster started her post off saying. "He could have picked any other freaking day of the year, why did he choose to have it the week before mine?!"
OP's dad is engaged to be married -- "to the woman he cheated with," and his plans have upset her.
"We've had our wedding day booked for a year and he got engaged three days ago," she wrote. "My dad and I have a difficult relationship due to the cheating but for the past two years we were making it work, I don't understand why he would do this."
What did he do? He booked his wedding a week before hers was already scheduled.
Oh, and OP says her dad hasn't even told her himself.
"He hasn't even told me himself that he's engaged, I heard about it from my grandma," the bride-to-be explained. "I told him our date him several times and have given him a save the date. He was one of the first people I told when I first got engaged, but six months later (after he had been completely ignoring the subject) he claimed he had no idea and no memory of me ever telling him," she said, adding a, "Wtf??"
She feels like maybe her dad didn't accidentally do this -- but that it's on purpose.
"Part of me wonders if it's revenge for the fact that I have chosen to not accept his partner, due to a lot of very complicated and s—-y things she did while they were having the affair," she explained. "I know they are just as bad as eachother, but out of self-preservation I cannot bring myself to be in the same room as her. I don't owe her anything."
The woman says she is looking for some support, advice, or if anyone has been in a similar situation.
She asked the Reddit community, "Just wanted to rant anyway, I feel like I'm going insane.. is this really happening? Has anyone here been in a similar situation?" And they came through with some advice.
"Low blow," one person wrote. "I'm particularly petty and I'd uninvite him from my wedding completely. That sort of behaviour shouldn't be rewarded by the privilege of getting to walk you down the aisle. Plus you've the worry of his side of the family travelling twice in the same week. It's mean spirited of him and would be considered bad form if a detested cousin did it, but for a parent to try upstage your wedding? That's a special sort of narcissism."
The commenter had some additional advice, "Don't share any of your wedding details, you don't want your wedding to look like a copy of theirs. Password protect all vendors – it doesn't sound like your dad's wife to be can be trusted."
"How about setting one of your events on the date?" another advised. "Bachelorette Party, rehearsal dinner, or just a spa day with your maid of honor. You are busy. You don't need to act as if you want to celebrate these two in any way. As I am petty, I would wait till your dad talks to you /tells you about his plans."
"Your dad is gaslighting you," a third said. "You are not insane. You checked it with him multiple times and gave him a save the date. He knew damn well when your wedding was, and is making you question yourself on purpose. I repeat: HE IS DOING THIS INTENTIONALLY. You are not crazy. He is a liar. This is on him, not you."
Weddings are stressful enough and no bride needs this to contend with, too.
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