Just days after he proposed, a man realized that he and his partner don’t share the same values. Although everything seemed fine at first, the relationship took a turn for the worse when the man’s fiancée found out how much money he had spent on the engagement ring.
The man shelled out $2,400 on a lab-grown diamond engagement ring, but his partner wanted a ring that costs at least $20,000.
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The man's fiancée said she 'felt hurt' because the ring 'reflected her worth.'
On Reddit’s popular subreddit r/TrueOffMyChest, the man explained that his fiancée “somehow discovered the price of the ring” a few days after he proposed. After learning that he spent $2,400 on the engagement ring, she “felt hurt that I would spend so little on her,” he wrote.
To her, the engagement ring “reflected her worth and the seriousness of our future marriage,” he shared, which is why she believes the man should’ve spent at least $20,000 on the ring.
He had a conversation with her about other ways in which they could use $20,000.
In his post, the man admitted that he had the ability to purchase a more expensive ring, but spending more on an engagement ring didn’t seem particularly wise to him. He had a conversation with his partner about “smarter ways to use $20,000.”
“There’s also a wedding to plan, and we might be covering most of the costs ourselves since neither of our parents has the means to help,” he explained. Instead of buying a more expensive engagement ring, they could use $20,000 to do a number of other things: “paying off a car loan, putting it toward a down payment on a house, investing, or even funding her business idea.”
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They didn't seem to share the same priorities, based on that conversation.
After they had this talk about money, the man’s fiancée still said she wanted a more expensive ring. Meanwhile, he prioritizes having stable finances.
“As someone who didn’t grow up with financial stability, becoming financially secure and literate is a major priority for me,” he explained. “But despite the conversation, she insisted she would still feel bothered if I didn’t upgrade the ring.”
Ultimately, he decided to call off their engagement.
After reflecting on the disagreement, the man decided to end the engagement because his fiancée’s request “shocked” him. “Gentlemen: the price of a diamond ring should never dictate the quality of your marriage,” he wrote in his post. “I don’t need to be married to know that. I’ve been a supportive and committed partner (otherwise, she wouldn’t have accepted my proposal).”
He added that he “chose to trust (his) gut” because he and his partner “clearly have different values.” “It hurts—I won’t lie—but a price tag on a shiny mineral shouldn’t define the foundation of a partnership,” he shared.
But $2,400 is already a lot for a ring, right?
People who responded to the man’s post supported his decision and thought expecting a $20,000 ring seemed ridiculous.
“2400 dollars is expensive for a ring I think ?” one person wrote. “Her loss! I can’t believe people actually have THAT high of a price point in mind for what is bare minimum acceptable,” another person responded.
“My wife apparently still has the twist tie I proposed with,” one Redditor commented. “Married almost 11 years now, six kids.”
Regardless of whether a $2,400 ring is an expensive one, they seem to have a compatibility issue.
People had varying opinions about how much should be spent on a ring. It’s not really about which price is “right” or “wrong” — it’s about compatibility, some pointed out in the comments.
“This is not an engagement ring issue so much as it is a financial compatibility issue and it is very unlikely that they would only be incompatible on finances with the cost of an engagement ring,” one person wrote.
“Some people do value the material goods and price tag above everything else. If that is their jam, then cool,” another Redditor responded. “Just something (that) everyone needs to be on the same page about. I’m sorry that you found out so late in the relationship.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
